Parenting Perspectives
Last fall, my son, Jake, stood in the warm October sunlight wearing his Boy Scouts uniform, next to a table brimming with popcorn varieties that his troop was selling. It’s a familiar tradition: the Scouts sell popcorn to fund their activities and necessary gear for camping trips.
We arrived at the local convenience store where the troop set up shop, and Jake took his position among his friends. Their troop leader reminded them to be polite and courteous, emphasizing the importance of not being overly aggressive in their approach.
As the hours passed, it became evident that many customers were annoyed by the sight of a group of boys in uniforms asking if they would like to support Scouting. Numerous shoppers hurried past, deliberately avoiding eye contact with the boys, seemingly hoping to evade any awkward refusals. While it was disheartening to witness, a few kind individuals stopped to buy popcorn or at least listen to the boys’ pitches.
However, one encounter left me seething. A man approached and, in a loud voice, declared his disdain for Boy Scouts, proclaiming he wouldn’t part with his money for their fundraising efforts. He criticized them for “begging” and suggested they find “real” activities, like sports. His rudeness was staggering, leaving the boys speechless and demoralized. To their credit, they didn’t retaliate or respond with anger. Had it been my choice, I would have confronted that grumpy individual.
Here’s the reality: I share the common aversion to fundraising. I despise being approached by friends and family with order forms for various products. It’s uncomfortable to have to pressure family members into purchasing items they don’t want. I often wish sports teams and clubs could find alternative ways to raise funds without the awkwardness of selling cookies and wrapping paper.
Yet, the behavior of adults toward children engaged in fundraising is far more bothersome than the act of selling itself. There’s no justification for being rude to a child who is simply trying to sell cookies for their Girl Scout troop or candy bars for their sports team to help cover expenses.
Today’s kids often lack the social skills many of us developed in previous generations, largely due to the influence of technology and social media. They spend less time in face-to-face interactions and, thanks to texting, they rarely engage in verbal conversations. Fundraising in public settings provides these kids with opportunities to overcome their fears of public speaking and learn valuable social skills. The youngsters at those tables in grocery store doorways are learning to read body language, collaborate as a team, and take pride in their involvement. When an adult behaves rudely towards a child trying to step out of their comfort zone, it can be profoundly disheartening.
Furthermore, it’s important to remember that these kids are not responsible for the need to fundraise. They don’t set the budgets their parents have to adhere to, nor do they dictate the costs of the activities they wish to participate in. While football gear, camping trips, and the like can strain a family’s wallet, they are critical for a child’s development. That $10 you spend on popcorn or cookies might mean a city kid has the chance to experience a weekend camping, learning valuable skills like building a fire. Adults should take a moment to recognize that their harsh words can have lasting impacts on these eager young faces.
After that unpleasant encounter, another man approached the table. Before he even reached the boys, he was reaching for his wallet. With a warm smile, he asked each boy to explain their offerings, listened attentively, and made eye contact. He even complimented them on their poise. Then he pulled out $100, purchasing an armful of caramel popcorn despite his wife’s playful jabs about his diet. As he left, he remarked, “I was once a Scout, and I was the kid who couldn’t afford to go on trips. I try to give back whenever I can because that’s what it’s all about.”
Yes, indeed. That’s exactly right.
Seeing this man leave with his popcorn, one of the boys expressed a desire to be like him when he grows up, and that brought tears to my eyes. Kindness is paramount, even when you’re in a rush to finish your grocery shopping.
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In summary, while fundraising can be a nuisance, kindness towards children engaged in these activities is essential. Adults should strive to support rather than discourage young people, as their growth and development depend on positive interactions.