Being married for nearly two decades has granted me immense joy and fulfillment, but I don’t claim to be a relationship guru. Instead, I feel incredibly fortunate to share a partnership that exemplifies love and respect, one that I hope our children will aspire to replicate in their own lives.
So, what’s the secret to our lasting marriage? It’s simple: consistent effort. We understand that a marriage requires ongoing care—similar to a delicate plant that flourishes only with regular attention. We view our relationship as a finely tuned machine; although it may occasionally need repairs, it will never be beyond saving. It’s the small, daily actions that keep this machine running smoothly, and I want my children to notice and remember these practices for their future relationships.
1. Healthy Conflict is Normal
We argue; we reconcile. This cycle happens openly, and we don’t shy away from showing it to our kids. Disagreements can be respectful and constructive, teaching children that differing opinions don’t negate love. Sometimes we even go to bed upset—yes, you read that right! Instead of insisting on resolving every issue immediately, we demonstrate that taking time to cool off can lead to a healthier discussion the next day. Letting them see this process gives them a realistic view of how relationships work, rather than a sanitized version.
2. Financial Discussions Are Important
We openly discuss our finances in front of the kids—everything from expenses to savings, and why we choose to live within our means. Keeping financial matters under wraps only leads to confusion. By addressing these issues together, we prepare our children for financial responsibility in the future.
3. Engaging in Political Conversations
Staying informed on current events and discussing political matters together is essential. With everything happening in the world, it’s crucial for our children to see their parents engaged and informed. These conversations can shape their understanding and encourage them to care about the future of our society.
4. Express Affection Regularly
Daily displays of affection are vital. Whether it’s holding hands in the car or sharing a hug before leaving the house, these moments reinforce that marriage is not just about love but also about friendship and physical intimacy. Moreover, when they witness our affectionate moments, it creates a sense of normalcy and comfort, even if it makes them cringe a little!
5. Know Your Strengths
We each embrace our roles based on what we enjoy and excel at, without any guilt. For instance, I chose to step back from full-time work to focus on our home, and it’s fulfilling for me. We respect each other’s strengths and ensure we complement one another, making our partnership harmonious. This dynamic demonstrates to our children that fulfillment in a relationship comes from understanding and valuing each other’s contributions.
Your marriage serves as the first and perhaps the only model of real love your kids will witness. Ultimately, love your partner wholeheartedly, without resentment or hesitation, and do it boldly in front of your children. These powerful memories will guide them as they embark on their own love journeys.
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Summary
Incorporating healthy conflict resolution, open financial discussions, engaging political dialogues, daily affection, and an understanding of personal strengths into your marriage can create a positive model for your children. These elements showcase the essence of a loving partnership, which they can aspire to in their own future relationships.