Homework can be a real headache, folks. It was frustrating back in my school days, it was a struggle during my years in college, and now as a parent, it feels like an endless cycle of chaos with my children’s assignments piling up. Seriously, last Friday my son came home with a staggering 96 algebra problems. Just one class! That’s right—96 problems over the weekend during football season!
So, let’s face it, homework can be a major drag. To ease the pain, I propose we transform this experience into a drinking game. While it may not speed up the homework process for our kids, it could make the ordeal a little less miserable. Ready to dive in? Here we go!
- Take a sip every time you remind your child to focus on their homework. “Please stop playing with the dog and get back to work!”
- Take a sip if you find yourself using a kitchen knife to sharpen a pencil because none of the 43 cheap plastic sharpeners are anywhere to be found, and the one mechanical pencil you managed to dig up is out of lead.
- Take a sip when you embark on a mini scavenger hunt for a decent eraser, because the one on your child’s pencil is either worn down or chewed up.
- Take a sip when your child needs glue for a project and you can’t help but wonder why these tasks need to be done at home. Didn’t we send all the supplies to school?
- Take a gulp each time you find yourself questioning, “Is this really how your teacher said to do it? That’s not how we did it back in my day.”
- Take a gulp for every exasperated sigh or eye roll, whether it’s from you or your child.
- Take a gulp if your child has a meltdown because they can’t find the right crayon color for their masterpiece. Double the gulp if you have to convince them that apricot is a suitable substitute for peach, and triple it if you’re scrounging for shades that reflect your own skin tone.
- Take two sips if you have to do some mental math to verify your child’s homework answers. Double the sips if you can’t do it without moving your lips.
- Take two gulps if you need to count on your fingers, jot it down, or use a calculator to get the right answer.
- Take three sips when you start to wonder if you’ll ever finish preparing dinner due to homework distractions.
- Take three sips every time you have to reach out to a fellow parent for assignment details because your child forgot to bring something home.
- Take three gulps each time you need to contact your child’s teacher for information that was supposedly sent home but is now mysteriously missing.
Bonus Rounds
- Chug if you discover a project due tomorrow that requires materials you don’t have at home. Make sure to send someone else to the store if necessary—trust me.
- When your child mentions a huge assignment due the next day and you ask how long they’ve known, take a shot if they say it was assigned more than a week ago.
- If your kids have been back to school for less than two months and have already broken their backpack strap, take a shot.
- For every time you Google, watch a YouTube tutorial, or call a friend to solve a homework problem, take a shot.
- If your child digs through their backpack and pulls out a fundraiser catalog, excitedly telling you about the 32-cent toy they’ll earn for selling 75 items, take a double shot.
- And if your child brings home a case of chocolate bars to sell, skip the shot and eat the whole box yourself, writing them a check instead.
For more parenting tips and resources, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. You can also learn about creating your own home insemination kit at Make a Mom for helpful insights.
In summary, homework can be overwhelming, but with a little humor and creativity, we can navigate the chaos together. Let’s embrace the chaos, one sip at a time!