I recently had a heart-to-heart with my longtime friend, Lisa. I shared my feelings of being overly sarcastic with a loud personality, wondering if I should tone it down. Her reassuring response reminded me why we’ve been inseparable for over 25 years. “That’s the person I’ve known and loved all these years. Don’t change a thing,” she said. It’s comforting to know that, at 41, she accepts me just as I am—and honestly, so should you.
As a mom, you probably feel the same way. You shouldn’t have to alter your personality to maintain solid friendships. Here are the essential qualities of the friends who will embrace you for who you are:
Moms need friends who embrace authenticity.
It’s exhausting to pretend to be someone you’re not, constantly fearing judgment. True friends allow you to be your real, imperfect self without hesitation.
Moms need friends who can dream big.
We often fantasize about glamorous getaways filled with high heels and cocktails, but let’s be real: lounging in our pajamas with junk food sounds just as delightful—if not more so!
Moms need friends who are comfortable in their own skin.
Sometimes, you may need to reach out for support early in the morning or late at night, and that means seeing each other in our most relaxed states, perhaps without a bra and in comfy tees.
Moms need friends who bring laughter.
Life can be incredibly challenging—parenting, relationships, and work can be overwhelming. Friends who can inject humor into tough times are invaluable. If you can make me laugh until I cry, you’re a keeper.
Moms need friends who express their feelings.
If I upset you, I want to know—not through gossip from someone else. Open communication is key; we don’t have time for meddling neighbors.
Moms need supportive friends.
Whether encouraging bad habits or new adventures, these friends will cheer you on. They’ll push you to indulge in that large fries order or remind you that you’re strong when you feel anything but.
Moms need friends who have their backs.
If someone speaks poorly of my friends, I expect to stand up for them. No one should disrespect the people we care about.
Moms need friends who recognize children can act out.
All kids can have their moments, and if your kids are perfect, we might not be the right fit for each other.
Moms need friends who are pleasant at kids’ events.
Whether it’s your child or mine, bad behavior on the sidelines reflects poorly on everyone involved.
Moms need honest friends.
If those jeans don’t fit right or there’s something stuck in my teeth, tell me. I value straightforwardness over sugarcoating.
Moms need friends who understand text communication.
You know I’m more likely to text than call, and if I do call during a busy moment, you won’t judge my multitasking, including bathroom breaks—thanks to the realities of motherhood.
Moms need friends who stand by them during tough times.
When life gets heavy, it’s the true friends who help you navigate through the storm and emerge on the other side.
Moms need friends willing to share food.
Sometimes, I crave nachos even while ordering a salad. Friends who don’t mind sharing their plate—or frosting—are the best, though I promise not to lick your margarita glass.
Ultimately, moms require friends who are genuine, supportive, and ready to embrace the chaos of life together. They should be the ones who will speak up for you, share in your struggles, and love you unconditionally.
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