I am a physician practicing in a bustling urban hospital. Holding a doctorate in medicine and with a decade of experience under my belt, I find myself perplexed by the disparity in pay between myself and my male counterparts. While discussing salaries may feel uncomfortable, it is not illegal, and I’ve had candid conversations with a few male colleagues about our pay and performance reviews. Unfortunately, like many American women, I earn only about 77% of what my male colleagues take home.
As a single mother of four, navigating life in a high-cost city like mine has its challenges. I was drawn here by my hospital’s recruitment efforts, but I underestimated the financial demands of raising a family in such an expensive area. To bridge the income gap, I also work part-time for a health and wellness organization I discovered during a community event. While this role brings me joy and connects me with others who prioritize fitness, it means sacrificing precious time with my children. If only I could earn that additional 23% from my primary employer.
When I initially accepted my position, I felt immense gratitude for the opportunity to transition from a retail job to a structured 9-to-5 work schedule. This new role allowed me more time with my children and a more stable lifestyle. However, in my eagerness to embrace this new chapter, I overlooked the possibility that I deserved a higher salary than what was presented.
After two years, when I received a promotion, my supervisor advised me against negotiating my pay, insisting that the offer was the highest I would receive. I accepted it with a simple “thank you,” feeling it would be ungrateful to challenge their assessment of my worth.
Now, three years later, I finally found the courage to request equal pay. As I approached my supervisor, I nearly apologized for making the request. I felt as if saying “I’m sorry” would somehow excuse my need for more compensation or disrupt their day. I had to remind myself that this was not just a raise but a necessary adjustment to align my salary with that of my colleagues.
Despite this realization, I still grappled with guilt over my request. I know my value and that my contributions are significant, yet I feel torn between my professional obligations and being present for my children. The day I made my request, I missed part of my child’s school performance because I had to be in a meeting. I was only required for a brief update, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing out on irreplaceable moments.
My kids often have to let themselves in after school, and I found myself working late into the evening, squeezing in tasks between baseball games and homework oversight. While I do have accrued paid time off, I hesitate to use it for school events, anxious about how my absence will be perceived by my colleagues. I always believed that if I could show my dedication as a mother and a professional, I would be compensated fairly. Yet, the pay gap persists, and equal pay for equal work remains out of reach.
I am worth every bit of the full dollar that my male counterparts earn. My work has garnered positive feedback, with one recent appraisal stating, “Your contributions have consistently elevated our team’s performance. Great job, Clara!”
As a mother, my children deserve my undivided attention. I dream of a future where I can quit my second job, consolidate my earnings, and be fully present for them. This would be a significant step toward reclaiming my time and balancing my responsibilities.
I breathe deeply and remind myself that running is not just about fitness; it’s a moment of solace amid the chaos.
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In summary, women continue to face obstacles in achieving pay equity, even when they demonstrate the same level of commitment and expertise as their male colleagues. As mothers, we strive to balance our careers and family life, advocating for our worth in a system that often undervalues our contributions.