To my dear children,
I want you to know just how much I love you. My love for you is as deep as my love for your younger brother, who has special needs and often occupies my time and thoughts. I see how much you all cherish him. There’s a unique bond among you, filled with affection that shines brightly whenever you’re together. He delights in your hugs, shared snacks, and playful games of chase. Though he may not have many words, his joyful laughter and the twinkle in his eyes behind those blue glasses speak volumes. You see the incredible person he is, and I appreciate that.
I understand that it can be frustrating. I often find myself repeating, “I need to help Noah right now,” or “I can’t join you; I need to stay with Noah.” I wasn’t always the type to stay home. I used to be the adventurous one, hiking to breathtaking views and zipping down thrilling slides. That adventurous spirit feels like a distant memory as I navigate daily life with your brother, who at almost 3 still struggles to express his needs and has a knack for running away (and he is fast!).
I’m working hard to balance my time between all of you. Do you see my efforts? Sometimes it’s not just about Noah; sometimes I’m just a mom who craves a moment of normalcy, wanting to chat with friends at the pool instead of witnessing yet another headstand. I’m still me, but I’m also aware that each of you needs my attention.
When your dad is away, I always make it a point to share my bed with one of you. I love lying next to you, talking about anything and everything. I hear you when you ask why we don’t go out more often. Did you know we’ve dined out a couple of times recently? I made that happen for you! I’ve arranged for a babysitter so we can build sandcastles without interruptions and enjoy the waves together. I want to be the mom you remember fondly.
This journey of motherhood can be incredibly challenging, but please know I care about you more than the stars in the sky. I long to hold your hands, smooth back your messy hair, apply sunscreen on your noses, and embrace you warmly.
Please recognize my efforts and don’t hesitate to tell me when you need me, especially when I seem distant. I know I’m not perfect and sometimes I can be a bit selfish with my time, but I promise to keep striving. Noah is just one part of our family, and you three are the ones who truly shape my experience of motherhood.
If you’re looking for more support or information regarding family dynamics, feel free to check out this insightful post on home insemination. And for those interested in the journey to parenthood, Make A Mom offers great resources on at-home insemination options. Also, this resource can provide valuable insights into pregnancy and related topics.
In summary, I want to express my unwavering love and commitment to each of you, even amidst the challenges of parenting a child with special needs. Your understanding and support mean the world to me as I strive to be the best mom I can be.