You remember how, as a child, a simple look from a parent or teacher could silence your chatter? Just one raised eyebrow or a piercing stare could freeze you in your tracks. That’s the powerful parental gaze. And let’s not forget how a mother’s tone could send shivers down your spine; the way she emphasized certain words made it clear that you were crossing a line. Or how your father’s calm, steady call of your name signaled the end of the discussion. These are the tools that experienced parents wield with finesse, but they take time to develop.
As a doctor and a parent, I’ve spent nearly six years navigating the challenges of raising two children. I recognize that I should have mastered these skills by now, but the truth is, I haven’t quite gotten there yet. Instead, I rely on a more primal method: I raise my voice. And while it may not be the ideal approach, it does get results. It can startle my son, who is still young enough to be a bit frightened by it—though don’t worry; he’s not terrified of the world around him. (After all, he finds Elmo a tad scary too!)
I don’t want to instill fear in my child; I just want to break his focus for a moment so he stops whatever reckless behavior he’s engaged in. At five years old, my son often needs multiple reminders before he hears what I’m saying, and frankly, much of what he does is without a second thought. He pulls stunts like head-butting his baby brother or jumping on me while I’m holding a hot cup of coffee. A five-year-old’s mind is often a whirlwind of spontaneity, and sometimes that chaos needs to be curtailed with a firm voice.
Certainly, there are gentler methods available, like the parent voice or the parent glare, but those require time and experience to master. And let’s be honest: when you’re trying to get your child’s attention in a noisy environment, sometimes a little volume is necessary to cut through the noise. Yelling can be an effective tool to reclaim control over the situation, at least temporarily.
However, I am aware that if I overuse this method, it risks becoming mere background noise. I understand the potential downsides and aim to avoid making yelling my default approach. But I also want to ensure my son doesn’t hurt himself, his brother, or anyone else. In the absence of alternative solutions, raising my voice feels like the most effective option.
Currently, it’s a balancing act between the diminishing effectiveness of yelling and my son’s growth. I hope that as he matures, he will begin to understand the consequences of his actions, allowing me to reserve my outbursts for truly special occasions. Until that day arrives, I’ll continue using my voice to get his attention when necessary. He may dislike it, but sometimes that jolt is just what he needs to pause, if only for a brief moment.
Besides, I’ve noticed that he often tunes me out when I speak calmly, and as they say, a parent has to do what a parent has to do. If you’re interested in learning more about the intricacies of home insemination, check out this excellent resource on infertility statistics or visit Cryobaby for a trusted home insemination kit.
In conclusion, while yelling may not be the most graceful parenting technique, it serves a purpose in moments of chaos, providing a necessary interruption to help guide my child back to safety.