By: Jamie Parker
Marriage is a journey of self-discovery, and in the past seven years, I’ve come to understand not only my spouse but also myself. This growth stems from both of us being open to transformation. Along the way, we’ve navigated challenges that have shaped us into who we are today. Here are twelve lessons I’ve learned:
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The Early Years Are Toughest
Those first few years can be a real eye-opener. You might discover quirks about your partner—like their habit of drinking straight from the milk jug. It’s a learning curve, but as time passes, you’ll find yourselves communicating without words. Just remember, some habits might never change. -
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Arguing over the toilet seat lid is a waste of energy. Save your discussions for the real issues, like who will handle the next late-night diaper duty. -
Invest in a Rug Doctor
Before kids entered our lives, we bought a Rug Doctor, and it’s been a lifesaver. From cleaning up unexpected messes to tackling crayon stains, it’s one of our most valuable purchases—right after the refrigerator, of course. -
Makeup Isn’t Everything
While feeling pretty can boost your confidence, your partner will hardly notice your makeup when you’re both exhausted from sleepless nights. Embrace the natural you; that’s what truly matters. -
Children Demand Everything
Kids will drain your time and energy. They occupy your thoughts around the clock. It’s crucial to nurture your relationship amidst the chaos, or you risk becoming strangers over the years. -
Communication Matures
Living with little ones means your voice might get louder, but that’s part of learning to communicate effectively. As you argue and resolve conflicts, your understanding of each other deepens, leading to fewer fights over time. -
Cherish Your Time Together
Even brief moments, like enjoying a beer on the porch after the kids are asleep, become treasures. You’ll learn to value these quiet instances, as they’re rare and precious. -
Laundry Is Never-Ending
Prepare yourself for the overwhelming amount of laundry that will take over your life. It may feel like an insurmountable task at times, but you’ll find ways to cope—like contemplating the dramatic act of setting it all ablaze. -
Cooking Skills Are Optional
You don’t need to be a master chef to survive. Basic meals, such as peanut butter sandwiches and store-bought pasta, will suffice for most days. -
Different Interests Are Healthy
Initially, I wanted to do everything with my partner. However, having separate hobbies is essential for personal growth and independence, reminding you of the person you once were. -
Everyone Needs Downtime
I used to think I was the only one needing a break, but it became clear that my husband also worked hard all day. Recognizing each other’s efforts leads to a happier home. -
You’ve Changed
The individuals you were on your wedding day are different from who you are now—and that’s a positive thing. You should embrace the ways you’ve influenced each other’s lives and communication styles.
Someone once told me, “There will be days when you question your marriage.” It’s true; you might wonder about your choices. But if you’re both committed, your bond will strengthen. You’ll tackle challenges together, and that’s when you’ll realize how far you’ve come.
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Summary
Marriage is a transformative journey filled with challenges and growth. The lessons learned over the years can help strengthen your relationship, making you more resilient as a couple. Embracing change, prioritizing communication, and cherishing time together are crucial elements that contribute to a thriving partnership.