Parenting
They May Be Pampered, But My Kids Aren’t Rude
by Dr. Lisa Thompson
Updated: August 18, 2023
Originally Published: August 18, 2023
As a parent, I often find myself in the position of negotiating with my children. I maintain a few key rules that I generally enforce, but I also find value in understanding their perspectives. For instance, if my 9-year-old son expresses that he’s too exhausted to pick up his clothes, I might help him out. Or when my youngest asks for a treat outside of designated dessert time, I might indulge him because he’s just so adorable after a fresh haircut and recently complimented me on my outfit. Yes, I admit it—I have pampered kids.
They do receive their fair share of toys, games, and treats, though I’m not exactly rolling in cash. Any extra funds usually go toward them because they truly are my everything, which is how it should be during their childhood. They are kids, after all. They can throw tantrums over the most trivial matters, but I understand that they are still developing impulse control. This aspect of their growth isn’t fully formed yet, so patience is key. While I aim to instill structure, I also strive to empathize with their feelings, creating a delicate balance.
Plus, I can’t resist their cuteness. When my 3-year-old asks me to cuddle with him during his nap, I find it hard to refuse. If my older son has a nightmare, I let him sleep in my room for comfort, and sometimes for weeks afterward. Maybe I’m too lenient at times, but here’s the one thing I absolutely will not compromise on: I refuse to let my children behave rudely. This goes beyond just teaching them manners; it’s about instilling a deeper understanding of kindness and respect.
So how do I nurture their niceness? Communication is essential in our household. We discuss feelings regularly, perhaps more than they’d like. It’s crucial that I understand what’s happening when they misbehave, whether it’s not following screen time rules or fighting with each other. Sometimes they may struggle to articulate their feelings in the moment, and I do believe in discipline when necessary. However, we do not punish them for expressing their emotions. Once they’ve calmed down, they often articulate their frustrations well.
By validating their feelings, I teach them about kindness and empathy. As a result, they’ve become great listeners—to me, their friends, and their teachers. The way I treat them serves as a model for their behavior towards others. If that occasionally makes me seem overly indulgent, then so be it. My ultimate goal is for my kids to feel cherished, secure, and loved abundantly. I believe that showering them with unconditional love will empower them to share that love with others.
I’m not perfect; I’m just navigating the complexities of parenting. Yet, I can confidently say that my approach—pampering included—seems to be effective. My children are kind, compassionate, and respectful, and I trust they will grow into men who value these qualities. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out some of our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. For those seeking guidance on the process, Make a Mom is an excellent resource that offers valuable information.
Summary:
In this article, we explored the balance between being a nurturing parent and ensuring that children learn kindness and respect. The author shares personal experiences of indulging their children while maintaining a focus on emotional intelligence and empathy. By fostering open communication about feelings, the aim is to raise compassionate individuals who understand the importance of treating others well.