By Dr. Emily Carter
Updated: May 26, 2023
In December, I made the decision to discontinue my anxiety and depression medication. This choice stemmed from a combination of a new insurance plan and a sense of confidence that I had everything under control. When I first began treatment, I was grappling with overwhelming feelings of anxiety and despair. I was constantly on edge, unable to sleep, and struggling to manage daily life.
If I had been living alone or in a less demanding situation, I might have tried to “power through.” However, I was a mother to a young son and daughter, ages two and three, who needed me to be fully present. They deserved a mom who wasn’t lost in her own thoughts, worrying about every little thing. They required the best version of me, and being off medication didn’t allow me to provide that.
After a year on medication, I felt like I was thriving. I believed I could handle life’s challenges without the aid of drugs. However, I was mistaken.
For five long months, I attempted to be the person my family needed, striving daily to remain positive and engaged. While I enjoyed a handful of good days, the relentless tide of anxiety and depression began to drag me under once again. I realized I couldn’t manage without my medication.
In those moments of struggle, I felt like I was failing—believing that if I just tried harder or adjusted my lifestyle, I would be fine. I internalized a sense of weakness, thinking I could never become the person my loved ones needed me to be.
After several weeks back on medication, I’ve come to the realization that those negative beliefs were unfounded. The truth is, my mental health challenges are simply a part of who I am, much like my blue eyes and blonde hair. There’s nothing inherently wrong with me; my brain just functions differently, leading to persistent anxiety and depression.
Many individuals face stigma surrounding the use of medication for mental health issues, but I want to emphasize that for me, medication has made me a better parent. It helps regulate my emotions, allowing me to connect with my children more deeply. Instead of being lost in worry, I can engage fully with them, teaching and nurturing them with love. I can approach each day more calmly, providing the support they deserve.
I wouldn’t wish anxiety or depression on anyone; they can be incredibly challenging to navigate. However, if you find yourself struggling, I encourage you to seek help. While some may judge you or express disappointment, their opinions are irrelevant. What truly matters is that mental health treatment can empower you to become the person you aspire to be. My medications are a blessing for both my family and me, and I’ll continue to take them as long as necessary to be the best mom possible.
My children deserve it. I deserve it. And you do, too.
For more information about mental health and medication, you can visit some excellent resources such as Johns Hopkins’ Fertility Center for pregnancy-related information or Make a Mom for guidance on your journey.
In summary, navigating mental health challenges is an ongoing journey. Embracing medication can lead to profound improvements in your ability to parent effectively, ensuring that you can be the best version of yourself for your children.