As a physician and parent, I’ve realized that my journey to becoming a better parent began when I stopped trying to ‘fix’ my children.
Recently, I found myself in a challenging situation with my 3- and 4-year-olds, who were exhibiting a lot of disruptive behavior—tantrums, screaming, and endless whining. As someone who instinctively wants to fix problems, I saw their behavior as something that needed to be corrected. I believed that if I could just figure out how to make them behave, life would be smoother.
The Experiment: A “Yes” Day
To test this theory, I decided to host a “yes” day, thinking that by granting them every wish, their moods would improve and our chaos would turn into harmony. My hope was that our day would resemble a heartwarming scene from a family movie, filled with laughter and joy.
We engaged in all their favorite activities, created new games, danced, sang, and even indulged in glitter play—an act of desperation on my part. We visited the park, enjoyed their favorite snacks, and I let them help prepare dinner, even whipping up some muffins together. I cheered them on, celebrated their little victories, and gave my all to make the day special.
The Reality Check
But at the end of this exhausting experiment, I was met with the reality that nothing had fundamentally changed. The whining, crying, and tantrums persisted. They were still navigating their emotions and testing boundaries, just as any young child would. I learned that toddlers and preschoolers are not problems to be solved; they are complex little beings learning to understand their world.
What this experience taught me is that a single day of indulgence wouldn’t resolve underlying issues; in fact, no amount of ‘yes’ days could remedy the challenges of parenting. My children need love, guidance, and support—not merely a day of being spoiled. They are individuals who require patience and understanding as they explore their identities and learn about their place within our family dynamic.
Shifting My Perspective
I realized that while I may yearn to be a fixer, my role is to provide consistent love and support every day, regardless of my own mood swings or the challenges I face. Some days, I can invest my time in puzzles and playful stories, while other days may be tougher. But if I give my best effort each day, I believe my children will develop into wonderful individuals.
As I move forward, my goal is to embrace the joys of motherhood more often and worry less about making mistakes. I hope that you, too, find peace in your parenting journey. If you’re interested in expanding your family, you can check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, the realization that children are not problems to be fixed but rather individuals to be nurtured has transformed my approach to parenting. Instead of seeking quick fixes, I aim to provide love and support every day, embracing the reality of their growth and learning.