Advice vs. Reality
What I hear: …before breakfast.
What they say: “Never go to bed angry.”
What I hear: …at yourself. It’s totally okay to be mad at him; he was probably being a jerk.
What they say: “Consume 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.”
What I hear: …as a family. Let’s not be pigs about it.
What they say: “When one door closes…”
What I hear: …there’s likely a kid right outside asking for something.
What they say: “Dance like nobody’s watching.”
What I hear: …unless it’s Chris Hemsworth, then bust out that sexy dance.
What they say: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
What I hear: …or it just strengthens your wine cravings.
What they say: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
What I hear: …time to binge-watch my favorite show.
What they say: “5-Second Rule.”
What I hear: …it’s perfectly fine for your kid to eat something off the floor within 5 seconds of spotting it, regardless of how long it’s been there.
What they say: “A happy wife means a happy life.”
What I hear: …midlife crisis alert!
What they say: “Choose organic options.”
What I hear: …like the organic Cheetos and Nutella I have stashed in my pantry.
What they say: “Aim for 30 minutes of cardio each day.”
What I hear: …or just move that decimal point over one space for a total of 3 minutes a day.
What they say: “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
What I hear: …a messy pile of melted chocolate in the backseat of the minivan.
What they say: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
What I hear: …sweat everything, big and small, usually at 3 a.m.
What they say: “Take the road less traveled.”
What I hear: …and then hunker down there. Bring a pillow; you might need a nap.
What they say: “Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.”
What I hear: …per week.
What they say: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
What I hear: …and don’t forget the vodka!
What they say: “Pick your battles wisely.”
What I hear: …choose the ones you can actually win, and then fight like a champ.
What they say: “Drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily.”
What I hear: …and then track how often you pee, reporting it as a fraction using common core math principles.
What they say: “40 is fabulous.”
What I hear: …relative to 80.
What they say: “Go big or go home.”
What I hear: …definitely go big; it’s loud and messy at home anyway.
Additional Resources
For more insights on navigating parenting and the ups and downs that come with it, check out this post on home insemination options here. If you’re considering at-home insemination, you can find high-quality kits at Make a Mom. For additional information on family building options, this resource is quite helpful.
Conclusion
In summary, while the experts have their well-meaning advice, what we often take away from it can be a bit different. It’s all about navigating our daily lives with a dose of humor and a sprinkle of realism.
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