I found myself lying in bed around 2 p.m., battling the flu, when my 9-year-old son, Ethan, gently nudged me and said, “I know you’re not feeling well. I won’t bother you if you let me use the tablet.”
I turned to face him. He stood there, short and sturdy, clad in a blue video game T-shirt and shorts, one arm crossed over his chest while the other hung loosely by his side. His tousled brown hair framed a serious expression; he was all business.
My partner, Lisa, had taken our two younger daughters out, leaving Ethan and me at home. Though I had agreed to let him stay with me because he was reluctant to go to the store, I hadn’t realized he hadn’t completed his task list—a series of chores he needed to finish to earn screen time. Now, here he was, ready to coax me into allowing him to use the iPad.
“Did you finish your list?” I inquired.
“I did most of it,” he replied.
The phrase “most of it” instantly alerted me that he had barely scratched the surface of his responsibilities. Earlier this year, we bought tablets for the kids, promising ourselves that they would engage with educational apps. In reality, the tablets have become our go-to tool for peace and quiet. I remember the days when I’d turn on a children’s show for a brief respite; now, handing Ethan a tablet can keep him engrossed for hours.
I must confess that when all three kids are absorbed in their screens, my house turns into a tranquil retreat. That said, these devices are as addictive as substances, and while they provide a much-needed break, they also trigger endless battles over usage.
Managing apps, YouTube, and the internet has become a hallmark of parenting in today’s world. My children forgo Saturday morning cartoons for videos of others playing games or unboxing toys—none of which seem educational. Unlike my childhood, where kid-friendly entertainment was limited, now there is an endless stream of mindless content at their fingertips.
To tackle this issue, we devised a chore chart to help them earn screen time. The kids don’t care much about money; they want access to their devices. Thus, we transformed screen time into a form of currency. Ethan can earn time for completing chores like taking out the trash, cleaning his room, or even tidying up the kitchen. The kids have a daily checklist that includes brushing their teeth, getting dressed, and doing something creative or active.
I admit, my children would do just about anything for screen time. Just last week, I had Ethan happily picking up dog waste in the yard in exchange for 30 minutes of his beloved tablet time. However, it has also turned them into little schemers who exploit loopholes in our system.
Since we acquired the tablets, my daughter has pretended to be sick several times to gain screen access, and Ethan has been known to lie about completing his chores. I’ve even caught them hiding in the bathroom, claiming to be busy, when they were secretly playing games. There have been instances where they’ve reset timers to gain extra minutes, and Ethan once tried to negotiate screen time in exchange for keeping a secret about an incident involving our garden.
Sometimes, the arrangement resembles haggling at a marketplace, with negotiations over how much time they can earn for completing various tasks. This shows some clever negotiation skills on their part, but it has ultimately led to a household of screen-obsessed kids.
So, when Ethan realized I was feeling weak and that staying home from the store could work to his advantage, he made his pitch.
I sat up and looked at him. His arms were crossed now, and as I locked eyes with him, he faltered and looked away. I felt dizzy and had to lie back down.
“If you didn’t finish your list, you can’t have screen time. You know the rules,” I stated firmly.
His expression fell, and he began to plead. “Please, Dad.”
I held up my hand. “Ethan, I’m really sick right now. I don’t appreciate you trying to negotiate for screens when I’m down. It’s not fair.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but I interrupted, “We both know that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
His shoulders slumped, and he looked down.
“Tell me what you’ve actually completed from your list,” I prompted.
We went back and forth, and I helped him realize that he could finish his chores quickly. I even offered him extra screen time if he could bring me some soup from the kitchen.
“Help me out, and I’ll help you. That’s how it works,” I said.
Although he wasn’t thrilled with the deal, he agreed, and we sealed it with a handshake as if we’d struck a significant bargain.
“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you,” I said.
Ethan smiled and went off to prepare some soup.
In the end, while screen time has become a powerful motivator, it’s clear that we need to find a balance to ensure our children develop healthy habits. If you’re looking for more information on home insemination, check out our other blog post, and for those interested in fertility resources, Make a Mom offers valuable insights. Additionally, March of Dimes provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In today’s world, screens have become a form of currency among children, leading to creative negotiations over screen time within families. While these devices can provide much-needed silence for parents, they also present challenges in managing usage and fostering healthy habits in children. Balancing screen time with responsibilities is essential for promoting a well-rounded upbringing.