By Dr. Lisa Hargrove
Image Source: Fertnig / iStock
There I was, cradling my 4-year-old, who was in full meltdown mode after picking at a scab on her knee. In her mind, the tiniest hint of blood was enough to send her spiraling into despair—she has a peculiar aversion to anything blood-related. A Band-Aid would have been an instant fix, but we had just run out, thanks to her habit of scabbing up her knees. When I finally peeked at the supposed “gaping wound,” I found no blood at all.
It was 7 AM, and while I was trying to comfort my distressed child, I was also juggling breakfast preparation for four, unloading the dishwasher, starting a load of laundry, checking work emails, creating a grocery list, and gearing myself up for another summer day with the kids.
Sleep had eluded me the night before, leaving me with an overactive mind racing through my responsibilities: deadlines, camp paperwork, septic tank calls, urgent emails, skipped workouts, and a promise to take the kids swimming. What was I thinking?!
Just then, my husband walked in, freshly showered and energized, complaining, “Ugh. I don’t feel like going to work today.” In that moment, an unexpected wave of jealousy washed over me. I kept my thoughts to myself—I certainly didn’t need a spat with my husband added to my already overflowing plate. I simply nodded in acknowledgment and continued to console our little one, perhaps holding her a bit too tightly.
He left for work without a clue about my inner turmoil, while I resumed my daily juggling act. As the day wore on, I couldn’t shake the vision of myself speeding down the driveway, hair blowing in the wind, radio blasting, and no one yelling, “Drive slower! I’m going to be sick!” The longing for uninterrupted work time, free from the distractions of parenting and the mess that comes with it, was palpable.
Let me clarify—I genuinely appreciate being a work-at-home mom (WAHM). This is the life I chose, and it suits me well. However, it’s undoubtedly a balancing act of epic proportions.
Having worked full-time outside the home before becoming a mom, I know that my imagined scenario isn’t always the reality. I don’t wish this phase away; I recognize it as a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of life. Soon enough, my children will be less dependent on me. But in those chaotic instances, when I’m covered in sticky substances and mediating sibling skirmishes, I can’t help but envy my husband’s seemingly carefree existence.
Just as I’m sure he can’t fathom the joys of lounging in pajamas all day, engaging with the kids, napping in hammocks, and squeezing in a bit of writing here and there, as he likely perceives my daily life to be.
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In summary, the journey of parenthood is filled with ups and downs, and each day feels like a high-wire act. While we may look at our partners’ lives with envy, the truth is that we all have our own unique challenges and joys in this parenting adventure.