“Mom, I think I need help.”
Those four words halted my world, reshaping my understanding of life in an instant. Until that moment, my child was merely a concept—a fleeting thought, an image blurred by the fog of the future. Everything changed on March 15, 2016, when I received the news, and about 12 hours later, my daughter made her spirited entrance into the world.
That was five years ago. Five years. 1,825 days. 43,800 hours. Whoa.
So, what’s different now? What lessons have I gathered from those 43,800 hours? The insights are countless, but here are five key takeaways.
Perfection is a Myth (So Why Chase It?)
This notion may sound like the title of a pop song, but it raises a critical question that many parents overlook: Why? Why do I feel the need to maintain such high expectations? Is the universe going to collapse if she skips a few bites of her broccoli? Will he be forever marked if he stumbles over his words while ordering breakfast in a crowded diner?
Sure, there are times when we must enforce certain rules, but it’s vital to recognize that we don’t have to adhere to them constantly. Sometimes it’s okay to relax the standards and say, “Forget it.” Forget it: dinner can be cereal. Forget it: clothes don’t have to match. Forget it: bring your favorite toy to the grocery store. Sometimes, as a parent, you need to step back and just let things be.
Recognizing the Unpreventable Meltdowns
Like a computer game that tells you “no useful moves detected,” parenting can feel overwhelmingly frustrating. At times, no amount of coaxing, comforting, or correcting will steer you away from a meltdown. Some emotional storms can be forecasted and avoided, but others are unavoidable and will strike regardless of your efforts.
The key here is to accept that it’s okay to be okay. Feeling guilty about a “Forget it” moment only undermines the intent behind it. You’re doing the best you can. Just because there are no actionable options doesn’t mean you or your child have failed; it’s simply how life unfolds. Accepting this can ease the burden.
Experiencing NostalJoyMent
This term describes that unique blend of pride, joy, and sadness that comes with watching your child grow. For example, when your child conquers their fear of the dark, you feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and happiness, but there’s also a pang of sorrow knowing they’re growing up too fast.
NostalJoyMent creeps into both the monumental and the mundane moments—whether it’s mastering a new skill like riding a bike or something as trivial as pouring their own juice. Each step forward fills your heart, making you acutely aware of how fleeting childhood can be.
Long Days, Short Years
Even though it’s a cliché, it rings true. The long hours of parenting can feel like an eternity, especially during challenging moments like Sunday night bedtimes, which serve as a reminder that the weekend is over. Time, that elusive trickster, moves at its own pace, often feeling both slow and fast simultaneously.
You find yourself caught in the cycle of daily routines, and suddenly, five years have passed in a blink. While some days may drag on, the years vanish before you realize it. The joy of watching your child grow is accompanied by the bittersweet reality that they won’t always be this young.
Legacy is What Counts
As I approach a milestone birthday, thoughts of legacy and mortality have come into sharper focus. Time is limited, and I often ponder what impact I will leave behind. What kind of person will my child become? The answer lies in my role as a parent—to nurture and raise wonderful individuals who will continue the cycle of greatness.
Think of life like a community quilt; each square represents a person, and while your square may fade with time, its purpose endures as it contributes to the larger design. It’s a comforting thought that our influence and love will ripple through generations.
This journey of parenting is one of continual growth and learning. As my experiences deepen, so does my capacity for love, understanding, and resilience. Each day brings new challenges and joys, and I find myself amazed by the endless lessons my child teaches me.
In summary, parenting is a profound journey filled with ups and downs, marked by the realization that love grows ever larger and deeper with time. For more insights on family building, check out this excellent resource on Intrauterine Insemination. If you’re looking for tools to assist in your journey, consider exploring fertility boosters for men.