Reaching 40 can be a strange journey. Some days, it feels like just another milestone, certainly a better option than the alternative—well, you know what I mean. Here’s a humorous look at the seven stages of approaching 40:
- Shock/Disbelief. Wait, what? 40? When did that happen? Am I really in the middle of my life? And these kids—where did they come from? How many do I have, anyway? Did someone swap my youthful body for my mother’s? Why am I bombarding myself with so many questions?
- Denial. Nope, those can’t be my kids. I’m way too young for that! Although, I guess those sagging parts and gray hairs could be telling a different story. I’m still trendy, right? Do people even say “trendy” anymore? Why am I at the grocery store in pajamas?
- Anger. Enough is enough! I’m going to indulge in some serious binge-watching of classic movies and drink way too many shots of Jell-O and Kamikaze. Don’t even try to get in my way! I can still perform a cartwheel—how many 40-year-olds can claim that? Maybe I’ll even flirt with that guy over there who’s not my husband because I’m way too young for that kind of commitment.
- Bargaining. Please tell me this is all a big mistake. If I could just rewind a few years, I promise I’ll volunteer more and take better care of myself. I’ll even run a marathon for dogs struggling with gender identity or participate in a triathlon for cryogenic research for the elderly—because who wouldn’t want to be frozen like Walt Disney?
- Guilt. Oh no, I’ve wasted so much time! Why didn’t I pursue my dream career? What have I done with my life so far? Am I really at mid-life, or is my expiration date closer than I think? Is that my kid with one thumb in his mouth and the other hand… well, you know? How could I have spent countless hours watching reality TV? Ten days of binge-watching The Real World? Seriously, what was I thinking?
- Depression. I feel awful. Maybe I’ll have another drink and spend the day watching every Lifetime movie or the entire original season of 90210. The new cast is just too young to even relate to. Am I still “young”? I guess I’m officially a woman now. I wonder if I’m going through perimenopause or just having a mid-life crisis.
- Acceptance and Hope. You know what? This isn’t so terrible. Age is just a number, right? Sure, I have a little belly flab and some noticeable veins, but who doesn’t? We’re all 40 now, and we’ve earned our battle scars. Every woman I know looks like me, or maybe even worse. Did I just say that out loud? Well, sure, Christie and Heidi look amazing, but they have teams of people helping them out. My support team is my kids, and they don’t do my makeup or help me exercise. But hey, I can still do push-ups—lots of them. This whole turning 40 business is nothing to stress about. Am I having an anxiety attack? Or is this just part of the 40 club?
Nope, not 40—can’t be!
If you’re interested in more on navigating life changes, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. And for those considering at-home insemination, CryoBaby offers reliable kits. Plus, if you’re exploring fertility treatments, this resource provides excellent guidance.
In summary, turning 40 can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, from disbelief and denial to acceptance and hope. Embrace the journey and remember, you’re not alone in this experience.
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