When I discovered my father’s age, I couldn’t help but react. My mother is a year older than him, and I remarked, “So that means Mom is…” My dad chuckled and said, “Thirty-nine!” However, I quickly pointed out, to his surprise, that I’ll be turning 39 this summer.
I left my home state for college when my parents were in their mid-40s, and upon returning with my own young family, they were nearing 60. Now, I’m starting to recognize just how much I missed during those years. Somewhere along the line, they aged—now they enjoy senior discounts at theme parks and movie theaters. Don’t get me wrong; they are still active and busy, traveling the globe, but they are undeniably different.
As a mother, the anxiety is real. Every time the phone rings and I see the school’s number pop up on the caller ID, my heart races until I hear that my kids are safe. And it doesn’t stop there; a call from my parents after 8 p.m. sends a similar chill down my spine.
Lunch conversations with friends have shifted dramatically. We no longer just discuss our kids and upcoming vacations; we talk about our parents—health issues, the onset of dementia, and concerns about their independence. We discuss health insurance and estate planning. At 38, I lie awake at night, torn between worrying about my children and my parents. It’s a unique spot to be in, that middle ground, and it’s no wonder that many of us rely on anti-anxiety medication and therapy.
When I’m with my parents, I often feel like a kid again, albeit a kid with a small army of children who call me “Mommy.” No matter how many milestones I’ve achieved—college graduation, career, marriage, children—it’s hard to shake the feeling that they are the true adults in the room. I’ve checked off numerous items on my life’s to-do list, yet I can’t help but feel that I’m entering a phase of life overshadowed by loss. My children will grow up, my body will inevitably change, and my parents will continue to age. It feels as if the things I cherish most are beginning to slip away like grains of sand. Is this what they call mid-life? Am I heading toward a crisis?
Despite the blessings in my life, including a wonderful set of grandparents, I am acutely aware of the inevitability of loss. I carry the weight of this worry as I navigate the challenges of parenting. With every passing day, I find myself bracing for the next curveball life has in store for me.
My father instilled in me a love for music, particularly Fleetwood Mac. Often, I find their lyrics echoing in my mind:
Oh mirror in the sky,
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I’ve been afraid of change, as I’ve built so much around my family, but time is relentless. Children grow, and I, too, am getting older. My family, both young and old, are aging, and it often feels like the ground beneath me is shifting.
For those navigating similar emotional landscapes, resources such as this excellent guide from the CDC can offer valuable insights into family planning and pregnancy. If you’re considering home insemination, reputable retailers like Make a Mom provide helpful products. And if you’re interested in understanding more about the journey of parenting and aging, check out this insightful blog post.
In summary, aging is a universal experience that transcends generations, and while it’s filled with challenges, it also offers moments of profound love and connection.
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