As you prepare to step into the journey of motherhood, you’re likely to receive a plethora of advice from well-meaning friends and family. You might hear suggestions like, “Travel while you can,” or “Savor your sleep.” If you’re fortunate, someone may even remind you about the unexpected companions you’ll have in the bathroom and the drastic reduction in your shower time. Yes, yoga pants and messy buns will become your new uniform, and let’s face it, spit-up happens—sometimes on your favorite outfit.
However, amidst these tips, there’s one crucial insight you absolutely need to grasp: you will lose a part of yourself.
In the whirlwind of purchasing diapers and choosing adorable onesies, it’s easy to overlook the transformation that lies ahead. Contemplating the future may not alter the experience; after all, no one can truly predict how motherhood will reshape them until they’re in it. It’s a process that can empower you, yet it simultaneously strips away pieces of who you once were.
You might find yourself shifting down the hierarchy of your own life—where you once stood at the forefront, you may now feel like an afterthought, often prioritizing your children above all else. If you plan on having multiple children, just know that your name will likely slide to the bottom of that list.
Initially, this change won’t be apparent. You’ll be too occupied with feeding schedules and playtime to consider your own identity. On particularly challenging days, you’ll congratulate yourself simply for making it through. You might post on social media about indulging in a much-deserved drink after a long day, but in reality, you might find yourself dozing off on the couch, catching reruns of your favorite shows, only to wake up feeling disoriented and unaccomplished.
Despite the chaos, your love for your children will be boundless. You’ll engage in countless games of peek-a-boo, and as they grow, you’ll share in their joy with every milestone. When you do manage to dress up, you might even question your choice, as the likelihood of a repeat performance diminishes.
However, there will come a day when you find yourself pacing with a fussy baby, humming soothing tunes in a moment of desperation. During this time, you’ll catch a glimpse of your reflection—a glimpse that might shock you. The woman staring back, adorned with remnants of baby spit-up and disheveled hair, might feel like a stranger. Your body may feel foreign, and your heart may feel heavy, but those eyes will convey everything you’ve been unable to articulate about this new chapter of your life.
Yet, within this moment lies hope. As time passes, you’ll gradually reclaim fragments of your former self. Your children will grow more independent, and with that comes newfound freedom. You’ll find opportunities for date nights and girls’ nights without the constant worry of a dwindling time limit. As the spit-up phase fades, you’ll rediscover the joy of dressing up without hesitation. With some effort and patience, you’ll reshape your body, taking pride in the vessel that nurtured your little ones.
The unchanging element in this ever-evolving journey will be your children. They will be the reason you rise each day and the source of your joy. Even on the toughest days, you will be reminded of the love and connection that makes it all worthwhile.
Take heart, dear friend. The version of you that emerges will be stronger, wiser, and beautifully transformed.
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In summary, while motherhood inevitably leads to changes in your identity, it also offers a chance for rediscovery and growth. Embrace the journey, and know that you will find your way back to yourself, emerging even stronger than before.