As I settle onto my bed with my laptop perched on my lap, I’m determined to scroll through my entire Facebook feed before I need to take my son to his soccer practice at 10 a.m. It’s Saturday morning, and while it may not seem ambitious, as a 37-year-old full-time working mom, that little bit of social media engagement is about as close as I get to a lively social life. You might chuckle, but I can see you liking my posts, so I know you’re in the same boat.
My partner has left for his usual “business meeting” and the kids are upstairs, seemingly playing harmoniously in their rooms. I’ve already taken care of breakfast, gotten everyone dressed, and handled the usual hygiene routines. Now, I’m hoping for some well-deserved “me time.”
However, when my partner eventually emerges from his lengthy bathroom visit, this is what happens:
My 4-year-old bursts into the room: “Mommy, can you do my hair in a super cool braid like Elsa’s? With the sparkly hair tie?”
Me: groans “Fine…” (I braid furiously, tie it off)… “Now, can you please leave me alone?”
Partner: “That’s unacceptable! You shouldn’t just push her away like that. This is family time, and you should be bonding with her instead of wasting time online.”
While he was busy with his business, I was interrupted 458 times—no exaggeration; I counted. I managed four outfit changes, three different hairstyles, mediated seven squabbles, declined two snack requests, and reminded one child where to find her water (hint: it’s in her cup). All of this, and I managed to read exactly one scroll of Facebook statuses—one measly scroll amidst the chaos of parenting.
If you’re the primary caretaker, you know this is just another day in the life of parenthood. We signed up for these interruptions the moment we welcomed children into our homes. We juggle a multitude of tasks daily, often without recognition from those around us. Somewhere between guilt over working and keeping the peace in our family, we tend to push our own needs to the bottom of the list.
What if we finally acknowledged this? What if, one day, we collectively declared, “Enough is enough! I deserve 20 minutes to myself to do whatever I want—be it scrolling through cat videos or simply resting!” What would happen if we paused our frantic schedules, constantly rushing between responsibilities imposed by society, just to become better versions of ourselves?
In the quest for women’s empowerment, we sometimes overlook the importance of self-care. I know I have. Unlike my mother, who would send me outside to play while she indulged in a novel, I find it hard to justify even three minutes for a quick social media check.
Unfortunately, I’ve let my partner and children forget that I, too, have interests and passions that extend beyond motherhood.
This morning, with judgment in my partner’s eyes, I slowly close my laptop. Instead of lashing out, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I have been actively engaging with the kids. I rise from my seat, but instead of a dramatic confrontation, I opt for a calm discussion. I ask them when they last did something nice for me, when they let me sleep in, or used the bathroom without an audience. Their wide eyes and quivering lips don’t sway me.
I gather up remnants of my role as “mom”—old maternity clothes, the breast pump, and the baby monitor that kept me tethered to their needs around the clock. Instead of a bonfire, I simply resolve to reclaim my time without the theatrics.
My mother’s generation may have burned their bras, but my generation risks burning out. Perhaps they had the right idea all along.
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Summary
In this reflection on motherhood, Dr. Sarah Thompson explores the overwhelming demands that come with being a primary caregiver. Amidst the chaos of daily parenting responsibilities, she emphasizes the importance of self-care and the need for mothers to reclaim their time and identity outside their roles. Rather than feeling guilty for seeking personal time, mothers should recognize their right to prioritize their own needs and interests.