On that bright September morning, my 8-year-old daughter, Lily, was bubbling with excitement. She was about to embark on a special outing with her father, just the two of them. With her siblings still asleep, we enjoyed the warm sun on the porch while waiting for him to arrive. He was picking her up to help a friend move—someone she adored, named Rachel, who had kids of her own. They had recently celebrated a fun birthday party together.
Lily’s sparkling blue eyes radiated joy, contrasting beautifully with her sun-kissed skin. It’s amazing how children can tan so effortlessly! My older kids often reminisce about their carefree summers, wishing they could regain that youthful glow.
The beginning of the school year had been tumultuous due to a severe flood that had disrupted our small Upstate New York city. The first day of school had been cut short, and we recalled the chaos of buses getting stuck and children trudging through water to reach home. Although we were safe, it was a challenging time for the kids, who were desperate for something to do. So naturally, Lily was thrilled to spend time with her dad.
As he pulled up to the porch with a honk and a wave, I felt a sense of relief. It was early enough that he hadn’t had a chance to drink yet, making it a safer outing for Lily. I had consulted a child services worker earlier, who had advised me to be cautious about allowing them to go together if I could smell alcohol on him. But that morning, I felt a glimmer of hope.
However, my sense of ease was short-lived. About 45 minutes later, I received a call that shattered my world. A first responder informed me that there had been an accident—my ex-husband had veered off the road, and my daughter was with him. Thankfully, she was unharmed, but he was being charged with DWI after blowing a 0.12 on the breathalyzer, nearly double the legal limit.
The drive to the accident site felt interminable. Each turn intensified my anger and fear. What could I possibly say? Once I arrived, the sight of flashing lights and emergency vehicles deepened my dread. I approached the scene, my heart racing as I spotted my ex-husband leaning against a patrol car, and I was informed about the charges he was facing under Leandra’s Law.
I had no words for him, only questions about my daughter’s well-being. The officer directed me to Lily, who was scared but physically unharmed. I took her hand and reassured her, even as she sobbed, convinced she had caused the incident by speaking too much while he drove.
The chaos continued at home, with everyone expressing their shock and anger. My daughter wrestled with guilt, and despite our attempts to comfort her, how could an 8-year-old fully grasp the situation? My ex was later released into police custody, hired a lawyer, and ultimately accepted a plea deal that included a 30-day jail sentence and probation.
Fast forward a few years—he still drinks. For the sake of my children, I obtained a court order preventing him from driving with anyone under 18. Yet, I can’t help but wonder what safeguards are in place for others on the road. Alcohol has been a persistent issue in my life and impacted my children’s day-to-day experiences.
Two months before the accident, I had given up drinking. Every day, I remind myself how close we were to a tragedy that morning. I still don’t know if he was intoxicated from the previous night or had been drinking that morning. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please remember: sleep it off, call a cab, or simply stay home! We were fortunate that day; the tree was mere inches from where Lily sat. Countless families are not as lucky when drinking and driving is involved.
As we approach summer celebrations, let’s ensure they remain joyous occasions and not moments that bring devastating news.
Almost five years later, I feel compelled to share this horrifying experience. The takeaway? There may not be a clear moral, but we must learn from such incidents and take steps to prevent drinking and driving.
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In summary, drinking and driving is a serious issue that can have life-altering consequences. By sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness and encourage responsible behavior on our roads.