Dear Mama,
I want to take a moment to express my sincerest apologies. I was mistaken in thinking that my child would remain oblivious to the differences around him. I assumed they would engage in play without noticing the wheelchair, the arm movements, or the various challenges that some children face. But he did notice.
It was heartbreaking when my son pointed and frowned at your child who was flapping her hands. I felt warmth rush to my cheeks when he timidly hid behind me at the sight of your son’s wheelchair. It’s a complicated world we navigate—a complexity so profound that even a toddler can articulate it simply: “Mommy, I scared.”
This is where it all begins, isn’t it? This is where fear and misunderstanding take root. We often fear what we do not understand, and I shouldn’t expect my little one to react any differently.
So here’s my pledge: I promise to have open conversations about our differences. When he points at your child in a store, I won’t hush him with whispers of shame. Instead, I will engage him in dialogue—not only about what makes us different but also what connects us.
- “He uses a wheelchair, and you walk on your legs. But look, he has a superhero shirt on, just like you!”
- “She flaps her hands when she’s excited, just like you clap your hands when you’re happy about the monkeys on TV.”
- “She has Down syndrome, but you both enjoy playing soccer.”
- “He has no hair, and you have beautiful curls. And guess what? He loves blue just like you!”
Yes, those moments of discussing both difference and similarity might feel a bit awkward. But they’re essential if we want to eliminate fear and foster friendships. If we can break down barriers so our kids can play together freely, it will all be worthwhile. Parenting can be challenging, and if it isn’t, we might be doing it wrong.
And, dear Mama, this isn’t about feeling virtuous or superior. It’s about ensuring my child doesn’t miss out on remarkable connections. Every day, I learn invaluable lessons about kindness, resilience, courage, and joy from your wonderful kids. I want my little one to experience these enriching moments, and I don’t want anyone to miss out on them.
So let’s get together. Let’s enjoy some coffee while our children discover the beauty in each other’s differences. Who knows? Someday, they may even share a cup of coffee as adults.
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Summary
In this heartfelt letter, a mother reflects on her initial misconceptions regarding her child’s awareness of differences among children with special needs. She promises to foster conversations about these differences, emphasizing the importance of recognizing both similarities and disparities. By committing to open dialogue, she hopes to eliminate fear and encourage friendships. The piece invites mothers to connect over coffee while their children learn from one another, promoting understanding and compassion.