Growing up in the 1980s and early ’90s was a vastly different experience. There were no ubiquitous cell phones or tracking devices; my parents often didn’t know my whereabouts, and the term “helicopter parenting” was unheard of. It was quite common for other adults—be it shopkeepers or fellow parents—to step in when we kids were misbehaving. They wouldn’t hesitate to let us know when we were out of line, nor would they feel the need to apologize to our parents for doing so. Most of us accepted this guidance, and I believe it played a significant role in helping us steer clear of poor choices.
I recall an incident at the park a few years ago. A woman approached me, apologizing for having to reprimand my son for pushing her daughter while I was preoccupied with my own child. I appreciated her reaching out and reassured her that she had every right to intervene. My son needed to understand that his actions had consequences. If she hadn’t spoken up, he might have thought he could continue his behavior without any repercussions.
As a parent, I know that if I’m present, and someone tries to discipline my child, it may lead to tension. However, I firmly believe there are appropriate moments to speak up that don’t involve shouting at a child. If I observe a kid engaging in dangerous behavior or being unkind, I will definitely address it. I expect the same from other adults. If my child is disrespecting someone, please feel free to address it. If he’s being rude to another child, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask him to apologize. And if he’s causing mischief on your property, by all means, let him know!
The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” resonates deeply with me. As our kids grow, having multiple adults involved becomes even more crucial. When children realize that their actions are being monitored by others, they tend to be more mindful of their behaviors. Personally, I know I was more cautious when I felt that oversight. Each adult can impart valuable lessons, and I want my kids to learn from a variety of perspectives. Understanding respect and the ramifications of one’s actions is vital, and it’s difficult for kids to grasp this if no one is willing to call them out when necessary.
Every child will test boundaries at some point—even the most well-behaved kids. Fortunately, if other adults are present, they can step in and set things right. It’s important to remember that just because a child acts out doesn’t mean they are inherently bad. Good kids can make poor choices; what matters is how they respond when they are caught. Ideally, feeling embarrassed about their actions will encourage them to think twice in the future.
I will speak up if I see a child about to make a poor decision or if someone is being harmed. However, if it’s a matter of simple disagreement, I’ll refrain from intervening—because that’s not my place. Luckily, during my own childhood, there were adults who cared enough to correct my behavior when I strayed off course.
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In summary, encouraging community involvement in child-rearing is essential for teaching kids accountability and respect. By allowing other adults to speak up, we equip our children to navigate the world with awareness and responsibility.