Recently, I found myself in a Rite Aid with my son after school, making a quick stop in the greeting card section. “Can you grab a First Communion card for your cousin while I look for a Mother’s Day card? We need to hurry!” I suggested.
“Mom, what’s a ‘Communion’?” my 7-year-old asked, confusion etched across his face.
At that moment, I felt a familiar knot in my stomach. I was raised in a devout Catholic family, went through all the sacraments, and even participated in mission trips during my youth. Although I consider myself a spiritual person today, my views have shifted significantly from those I was taught—often in a rather forceful way.
When my son was born, my husband and I opted not to baptize him. I simply couldn’t accept the notion that our innocent child was born with sin. My husband, who doesn’t hold religious beliefs, agreed that this was the best path for our family.
Since then, we have intermittently enrolled our son in religious summer camps and answered his questions about faith as they arise. However, religion hasn’t been a significant aspect of our daily lives. It wasn’t until this encounter at the store that I began to reconsider our approach. My son’s lack of familiarity with a significant rite of passage left me pondering whether I was making the right decisions for him.
One thing I realized is that every day, I strive to do what’s best for him. Will I ever truly know if my choices were the right ones? Perhaps, if he ever seeks therapy as an adult. But for now, we’re navigating parenthood on our own terms.
If my son ever expresses a desire to learn more about religion or wants to attend church like some of his cousins, I would support him wholeheartedly. But it would have to be his choice, not something I impose on him due to societal expectations or my own upbringing.
I want him to cultivate his own beliefs rooted in genuine connection rather than obligation. If he finds meaning in faith, then that’s what matters most to me.
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In summary, my family’s approach to religion is one of openness rather than obligation, allowing my son to explore his beliefs in a way that feels authentic to him.