One of the most frequently shared pieces of advice about marriage is the necessity of allocating time for one another. We often encounter discussions about the significance of “couple time” in self-help books and articles. We hear from experienced couples who emphasize how crucial it is not to let parenting overshadow the marriage relationship. While this guidance is valuable, it’s essential to recognize that the concept of “making time for your marriage” evolves along with the relationship.
In the earlier stages of marriage, making time might have involved elaborate vacations, regular date nights, or leisurely Sunday mornings spent in bed. However, as life progresses—especially with children in the mix—the meaning of “making time” shifts dramatically. It transforms into a practice requiring adaptability, patience, and a fair amount of ingenuity.
Making time for your marriage today could be as simple as sharing a warm embrace or a playful squeeze in the kitchen. It might look like sending multiple texts throughout the day about mundane tasks such as grocery shopping or your child’s soccer schedule because these small interactions foster deeper conversations when you are finally together.
It can mean enjoying a few laughs during the opening skit of Saturday Night Live before fatigue overtakes one (or both) of you. It’s about attempting to finish a thought only to be interrupted repeatedly by a child exclaiming, “Mommy, look at this!” and realizing that whatever you were about to say can wait.
Making time for your marriage today can also involve sneaking moments of intimacy during chaotic mornings while the kids are preoccupied with cartoons. It means laughing at inside jokes that only the two of you understand, even if they drive others crazy.
You might find those precious moments of connection in the quiet of early dawn, tangled together in bed, breathing in sync before the children enter with their demands for breakfast and entertainment. It may include playful text messages filled with emojis or sharing a cheeky joke during the workday to elicit a laugh from your partner. Don’t forget the occasional risqué selfie sent via Snapchat to keep the spark alive—just make sure it’s hidden when the kids grab your phone to play games.
Making time for your marriage also encompasses the quick shoulder rubs squeezed in between tucking the kids in and addressing yet another request for water. You might find yourselves on a rare date night, promising not to talk about the kids, only to find yourselves discussing them before you’ve even finished your drinks.
Long drives home with the kids sleeping in the backseat can create an opportunity for meaningful conversation, and even a simple trip to Target on a Friday night can become a bonding experience, as you both explore aisles while discussing everything from patio furniture to the lack of milk at home.
Ultimately, making time for your marriage involves a lot of forgiveness because after a long day, you’re often too exhausted to argue. It means dreaming together about your future and reminiscing about shared memories, albeit for a fleeting moment before being jolted back to reality by a toddler’s accident on the kitchen floor.
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In summary, making time for your marriage is an evolving journey that adapts to the demands of life and family. It requires creativity and humor to maintain that connection amidst the chaos of everyday life.