As a woman in my thirties with a visual impairment, I often attract attention when I navigate public spaces with my white cane. The news of my pregnancy, coming just six months after I was declared blind, brought a whirlwind of emotions—excitement intertwined with fear. My husband, Jake, and I were elated at the prospect of becoming parents, yet we were acutely aware that society often perceives “disability” and “parenthood” as conflicting concepts.
As my pregnancy progressed, the reactions from those around me shifted from curiosity to intrusive questioning. The surprised looks and insensitive inquiries added considerable stress to an already high-risk situation. I longed for joy and support, but instead, I faced a barrage of inappropriate comments and unsolicited advice. During a particularly emotional ultrasound appointment, I broke down and shared my frustrations with my doctor. He listened and then posed a pivotal question: “Why do you care?” This struck a chord within me. If I was to be a mother, I needed to develop resilience against negativity. I resolved that if people were going to ask intrusive questions, they should be ready for my candid responses.
- Was this pregnancy planned?
While the conception might not have been meticulously planned, Jake and I were overjoyed by the unexpected news. After years of trying to start a family, we were ecstatic to welcome this new life. Can’t you just celebrate with us? - You’re not keeping it?
If by “it,” you mean my child, why would I consider anything else? I am an educated, capable woman in a supportive marriage, ready to embrace motherhood. Many disabled individuals successfully raise children, and I am no exception. - Where’s the father in all of this?
You mean my husband, Jake, who I have built a life with over the past decade? He is fully involved and thrilled about our upcoming parenthood. Our relationship is like any other, filled with love and partnership. Did you assume my disability would deter someone from wanting a meaningful connection with me? - I didn’t think disabled people were ‘allowed’ to have kids.
There is no law preventing disabled individuals from having children. We engage in relationships, experience love, and reproduce—just like anyone else. People with disabilities make the conscious decision to become parents daily. We don’t require permission from society to start a family. - But how will you _______?
Whether it’s changing diapers, feeding, or attending doctor’s appointments, I have considered all challenges. Like any new parent, I have fears and uncertainties. However, I have nine months to prepare, network, and establish resources to support my child’s needs. Ultimately, this is my responsibility, not yours. - Don’t you think having a disabled mother will be hard on your child?
Yes, being raised by a mother with a disability may present challenges. However, my child will also learn invaluable lessons in perseverance and empathy. They will understand that limitations do not define a person nor their potential as a parent.
If you encounter a pregnant woman with a disability, approach her with kindness, avoid making assumptions, and offer congratulations. Remember, the love a mother has for her child transcends any physical challenges. For more insights on navigating pregnancy and home insemination options, you can check out resources like this informative piece on intrauterine insemination. Additionally, if you’re considering starting your journey to motherhood, resources like this fertility booster may be beneficial.
To learn more about self insemination methods, visit this blog post.
Summary
Pregnancy can be a joyful but challenging experience, particularly for women with disabilities. As they navigate societal misconceptions and intrusive questions, it is important for those around them to offer support and understanding. Motherhood is a journey filled with love and determination, regardless of physical limitations.