I like to think of myself as a capable parent. While I hesitate to call myself “great” due to the inevitable human flaws we all possess, I recognize that my partner is truly the better parent in our family dynamic.
My partner never resorts to the TV as a babysitter; instead, he engages our child with toys and stories, fostering her imagination. He prepares wholesome meals for her, rather than allowing her to snack on milk and applesauce throughout the day. There’s no rushing through her bedtime routine—he takes the time to read her favorite books and play games until she’s ready to drift off to sleep.
When it comes to attention, he is fully present, never distracted by his phone while spending time with our little one. He always has the energy to walk to the park, pushing her on the swings for as long as she wants. He never opts for fast food out of convenience; he returns home with nutritious snacks that, unlike the fast-food options, won’t spoil overnight.
My partner shows remarkable patience when our toddler insists on walking herself during outings, patiently matching her slow pace, no matter how long it takes. He embodies the kind of parent I aspired to be when I first learned I was expecting.
But here’s the honest truth: I am not that parent. I am the primary caregiver, which means I experience the daily routine—the getting dressed, the long hours before her nap, and preparing meals. I deal with the tantrums and the chaos of playdates.
This is not to diminish my partner’s contributions; our child is incredibly fortunate to have him as a father. He is nurturing, patient, and kind, exceeding my expectations in every way.
This reflection is a reminder for me not to set unrealistic standards. It serves to highlight that parenting dynamics can’t be compared directly. We are different individuals with varying strengths and challenges. He has the energy and enthusiasm that I sometimes lack due to fatigue and my own struggles with mental health. I have learned to give myself grace, even if occasionally I let that grace extend a bit too far.
I am a good parent, and he is a good parent. Together, we provide our child with a well-rounded upbringing. I offer her consistency, cuddles, and conversations about her feelings, while he brings adventure, fun, and a strong moral compass. Our parenting styles don’t need to mirror each other, and what’s “good” for me doesn’t have to align with what’s “good” for him.
Rather than feeling envious of his dedication, I choose to appreciate the partnership we share in raising our daughter. I am grateful for the moments she spends with him and aim to cultivate a bit more patience each day.
And let’s be honest: sometimes, we both need a break, and it’s perfectly okay to cuddle up for another episode of a kids’ show.
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Summary
This article reflects on the dynamics of parenting and how individual strengths contribute to a child’s upbringing. It emphasizes that while one partner may seem to excel in certain areas, both parents play crucial roles, and it’s important to appreciate each other’s contributions without unhealthy comparisons.