“Is your other child typical?”
How would you respond to that question? It was posed to me in passing, and before I share my reaction, let’s first explore what the term “typical” actually means.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, “typical” is defined as “conforming to a standard; usual, or expected.” This implies that my child, who has special needs, does not meet societal expectations for a child his age. He is indeed different, but that uniqueness is something to celebrate.
As a parent, I take immense pride in his individuality. He approaches life in his own way, at his own rhythm, and has no interest in simply blending in. His expressions of joy—whether through hand-flapping, high-pitched sounds, or spinning—are delightful to observe. I chuckle as he concocts gourmet meals like pizza topped with custard or yogurt paired with mashed potatoes. His fascination with watching elevator doors open and close, rather than playing with toys, is refreshing. I can’t help but dance with him in delight when we see someone use the hand dryers in public restrooms.
He is humorous, affectionate, and full of energy. Sure, he can get bored during clothes shopping and often thinks he knows better than I do. But isn’t that what many children do? He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and a keen interest in technology. His height, weight, and even shoe size are right in line with his age group.
So why would a stranger ask if my other child is “typical”? This person saw my son’s challenges—the inability to speak, his balance issues, his unique behaviors—and viewed him as less than. Her question suggested that I should mourn the fact that my child needs extra support or that he isn’t yet potty trained.
While I could easily judge this stranger, I choose not to. I’ve been there before, grappling with the heartache of what my son could not do. I remember the challenges of pushing him in a wheelchair during his early years. I longed to hear his voice.
However, my perspective has shifted. I now see my son as beautiful and wonderful in his own right. Both he and his sister are typical in their own unique ways.
If we define “typical” as simply being human, then really, who among us is not typical? So, when she asked that question, I simply smiled and replied, “Yes, I’m blessed with two incredible children. Thank you!”
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Summary
This article discusses redefining the concept of “normal” when raising a child with special needs. It emphasizes celebrating individuality and recognizing that every child is unique in their own right. The author shares personal experiences that highlight the beauty in differences, ultimately reinforcing that all children can be considered “normal” in their uniqueness.