It was the final day of my son’s third full week at preschool, and as we arrived, he clung to my leg with a grip that felt like it could last forever. His tiny voice broke my heart as he softly pleaded, “Mommy, I just want you.” I took slow, hesitant steps, his little hands still holding on tight to my jeans, while my own hands tried to gently pry him off to make my escape.
Just then, his teacher approached, squatting down to meet his gaze, offering her hand. She turned to me and said, “I hope you realize that everything he does is all about ‘Mommy.’”
I crouched down, pulling him into my lap as she continued. “Every time he draws, he says, ‘Look, it’s Mommy and me.’ When he plays in the car, he says, ‘I’m driving with Mommy.’ Everything is centered around you. It’s really sweet.”
I hugged him tightly and thanked his teacher, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. I quickly moved him to a chair to join his friends and made my way to the car, her words echoing in my mind. She had no idea how much I needed to hear that.
Life doesn’t always unfold as we expect. Ours certainly hasn’t. After navigating numerous challenges, we found ourselves as just the two of us—a single mother and her son. We lack many things: a grand home, a lavish bank account for zoo trips or dining out, and the company of others to share laughter with at the dinner table. For a long time, I felt burdened by the thought that we were not enough.
Yet, even when life throws unexpected challenges, whether they are losses, relationship breakdowns, or other hardships, there emerges a truth that takes time to reveal itself: there is beauty in it all.
The original plan didn’t include just the two of us, but that’s where life has led us. There have been tough days, exhausting days, and evenings where I just counted the hours until bedtime, a glass of wine in hand. Those days will come and go, as they are part of life.
However, as we settle into our new normal—a single mother and her son—I find myself deeply aware that these moments are some of the sweetest of my life. They are a precious gift, and I refuse to overlook them.
I have the joy of singing along to our favorite songs in the car, with him bobbing his head in rhythm, his little voice attempting to catch the melody. I cherish our early mornings and late nights spent snuggled together in pajamas, sharing stories and enjoying toaster waffles with strawberries. I am the one who comforts him at 2 a.m., sharing a twin bed when he feels scared, his little body relaxing next to mine as he drifts back to sleep.
I get to be the one who manages his messy morning hair, plays with him on the worn carpet, and holds his hand while he draws pictures. Each day, I grow more into my role, and he becomes my everything, just as I am his.
While this may not be the life I envisioned, it is what we have been given. It’s starting to feel like a unique kind of beautiful—a beauty that may have been bruised along the way but has turned out to be perfectly imperfect. It’s the kind of perfect found in our cozy mornings, simple meals, and spontaneous dance parties to his favorite tunes. It’s a worn-in, ragged kind of perfect—much like his beloved stuffed animal. It’s our life, and it is beautiful.
Life often doesn’t follow the script we write, but I am learning to create beauty within it. For more insights on the journey of home insemination, check out this post on our blog here. If you’re exploring options for starting a family, visit this resource for valuable information. Additionally, consider looking into fertility boosters to enhance your chances of conception.
Summary:
This piece reflects on the unexpected journey of a single mother and her son, capturing the beauty in their everyday lives despite not meeting societal norms. It emphasizes cherishing the small moments and the unique bond they share, highlighting that beauty can be found even in imperfect situations.