Picture this scenario: You’ve found a cozy spot at your favorite café, sipping your drink while you open your laptop. Suddenly, a stranger approaches and says, “Hey, let me use that for a bit.” You respond, “Uh, no. It’s MY laptop.” The stranger insists, “Not fair! It’s my turn!” Then they go and complain to the barista, who comes over and says, “Alright, I think you’ve had enough time. It’s time to share.” And just like that, your laptop is taken away. Sounds absurd, right? This is likely how our children feel every time we force them to share.
Here are nine reasons I don’t make my kids share with others:
- I’m Not Rocking the Boat. If my child is deeply engaged in a task that doesn’t have an off switch, everyone best respect that. I wouldn’t dream of interrupting someone baking a cake, would I? If they want assistance, they’ll ask.
- Concentration Matters. Imagine you’re immersed in a thrilling book right at the climax when someone snatches it away. I can’t fathom how frustrating it would be to never fully engage in an activity without interruptions. Oh wait, I’m a parent, and that happens all too often.
- I Won’t Betray Their Efforts. I refuse to be the one who takes away that crucial LEGO piece from my son while he’s building an impressive structure. Those are his LEGOs; he makes the call on how to use them.
- Let’s Face It: Sharing is Odd. As adults, do we share our cars, our furniture, or even our partners? I’m not running a sister-wife situation here.
- Fairness Isn’t a Given. Contrary to popular belief among children, life isn’t fair, and it never will be. Yes, that other kid may have had the toy longer, but life’s tough—kids will learn to cope.
- Choices Are Key. Throughout my parenting journey, I’ve focused on teaching my children to make their own decisions and face the consequences. I won’t take a step back just so another child can play with my daughter’s cherished doll.
- Boundaries Are Essential. One of the most important life skills is the ability to say “No” firmly. Unless, of course, it’s about trying new veggies or wearing pants.
- They Can Still Cooperate. I’m almost entirely confident they will grow up to be functioning members of society without the need to share everything.
- It Might Foster Kindness. Perhaps if children learn they can’t have everything at their fingertips, we’ll cultivate a generation of kinder individuals—those who don’t throw tantrums or post nasty comments when they disagree.
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In summary, teaching kids about personal space, boundaries, and the reality of life’s inequalities can be more beneficial than enforcing sharing. By allowing them to make their own choices, we prepare them for the complexities of adulthood while also fostering empathy and respect for others.
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