Parenting Insights
From the moment I dreamed of becoming a parent, I envisioned the enlightening conversations I’d have with my child. Communication has always been my way of connecting with others. So when my daughter, Lily, began to articulate her thoughts, I was overjoyed. However, as life would have it, there’s always a flip side. While dissecting every detail of our favorite movie moments is delightful, there are certain phrases Lily, now 5 ½ years old, utters that I find exhausting. Here’s a glimpse into my contrasting reactions:
-
“Mommy, will you play with me?”
It’s a Saturday morning. I’ve barely finished my first cup of coffee.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: (sighing) What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Good Mommy: What kind of store?
Lily: Jewelry and other stuff. You’ll come in and buy whatever you want. ‘Kay?
Good Mommy: Can’t we just do a puzzle instead?
Lily: C’mon! It’ll be fun.
Good Mommy: (exhaling) OK.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, will you play with me?
Real Mommy: What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Real Mommy: Oh no! I absolutely despise imaginative play. It never ends, and I’ll just be stuck pretending to buy random things when all I want to do is lounge on the couch and read about this week’s celebrity fashion disasters. -
“My butt is itchy.”
This typically happens when we’re rushing to school, with numerous families and commuters nearby.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: Okay, sweetie. As soon as we get to school, we’ll find a bathroom.
Lily: (crying without tears) No! Mommy, please!
I grab a tissue, turn us away from the crowd, and awkwardly squeeze my hand between her tight little cheeks, trying to look casual.
Good Mommy: (gently moving the tissue) Better?
(She nods.)
Good Mommy: I know, honey. It’s tough having an itchy butt.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Real Mommy: Sorry, kiddo, but you’ll just have to deal with it until we reach school.
(Crying intensifies.)
Real Mommy: First of all, calm down. Second, how can your backside be itchy after I wiped it a thousand times last night? And third, I look ridiculous tending to your needs in public while people are probably judging me.
Let’s not even get started on the fact that it’s not just her butt; I also hear, “My vagina’s itchy.” -
“Why are you being so mean?”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: Remember how I told you it’s exhausting when you don’t listen? I’m just really tired and need to tuck you in.
Lily: But you don’t have to be mean!
Good Mommy: You’re right. I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?
Lily: Yes.
(We hug.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Me: Because I’m extremely tired from working all day to provide for you. Now, instead of quietly going to bed, you’re bouncing all over the place and ignoring me! -
“I love you so, so much.”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Oh, thank you, sweetie. I love you so, so much too.
(True story: I don’t actually hate this one, but it tugs at my heartstrings.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, I love you so, so much.
Me: Oh, honey. Can we just stick to “Mommy, I love you”?
Lily: Why?
Me: Because when you say “so, so much,” it makes me worry about dying early and leaving you behind. That thought is heartbreaking!
Lily: Why would you die early?
Me: Well, sometimes life throws curveballs. My dad passed away when I was young, and I fear the same might happen to me.
By the way, it truly sucks to have these thoughts, especially when I’ve already overcome health challenges. But I cherish our conversations; here’s one we had recently:
Lily: Mommy, how old will you be in 20 years?
Me: 65.
Lily: How about in 40 years?
Me: 85.
Lily: (thinking) That’s really old!
Me: It is! I’ll probably be all wrinkly and hunched over.
Lily: (delighted) You might even be dead!
Me: You’re right! I just might be!
(We both laugh.)
Now that’s a conversation I can get behind.
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In summary, parenting is a mix of joy and frustration, especially when your little one says the things that drive you up the wall. While I cherish our chats, I also sometimes wish for a moment of peace. But through all the ups and downs, those heartfelt exchanges remain the highlights of my day.
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