Life is filled with predictable events. For instance, if you wash your car or do your hair, rain is almost certain to follow. Similarly, a quick search of minor symptoms online will likely lead you to believe you have a rare disease. When it comes to social media, it’s almost a given that wedding anniversaries will feature the phrase “best friend” at least once. “I married my best friend.” “Waking up next to my best friend is a blessing.” The hashtags abound.
However, I hesitate to use that term for my husband. Referring to him as my best friend feels like downplaying the profound connection we share. Comparing it to saying “it’s a bit windy” in the midst of a hurricane is an understatement. No catchy phrase can truly encapsulate the depth of our bond.
Before you dismiss this as mere semantics or an attempt to elevate my relationship, let me clarify: we are an ordinary couple, not a fairy tale. We argue over trivial matters and significant issues alike, and yes, at times, one of us can be particularly obstinate (and it’s never me, of course). Life often distracts us, and before we know it, weeks have passed since our last date night. He has a knack for pushing my buttons, expertly knowing just how to rile me up, whether it’s through his timing or his comments.
Yet, therein lies the beauty of our relationship. It’s not just that he can annoy me; it’s that he understands me on a level that goes beyond friendship. Sure, my best friend might know I’m terrified of zombies, but my husband knows the backstory behind that fear—like the time my siblings let me watch a horror movie when I was just five.
While my best friends might know I dislike fish or that tequila isn’t my friend, my husband is aware of my deepest vulnerabilities. He knows my social security number, the medications that cause me issues, and the emotional significance behind my childhood stuffed bear. He can predict my reactions in various situations and understands my joys and fears in ways that few others do.
I cherish my friendships; they are vital and enriching. However, I’ve never faced the pivotal moments of life with my friends like I have with my husband. I haven’t shared the tears of watching life choices unravel or fought to hold things together in the face of adversity with them. Friends can provide support, but there’s a limit to their emotional investment. At the end of the day, it’s not their life at stake, and while I cherish their presence, it doesn’t evoke the same emotional intensity as my partner.
Friendships, while meaningful, don’t carry the weight of partnership. They are often less complicated, while marriages demand dedication, sacrifice, and resilience. It’s about navigating the storm together, working tirelessly to stay afloat when life gets tumultuous. This commitment deserves a title far more significant than “friend.” You can become friends with anyone online, but that doesn’t compare to the intricate, challenging, and beautiful life I share with my spouse.
Until we find a more fitting term, I’ll opt for humor in my anniversary card, and we’ll share a laugh—one of those moments that define us as a couple, transcending the mere concept of friendship.
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Summary:
This article discusses the unique bond between partners that goes beyond friendship. While friendships are valuable, the emotional investment and experiences shared in a marriage create a deeper connection. The author emphasizes that the term “best friend” fails to capture the complexities and significance of a marital relationship.