“Is Mommy feeling okay?”
Recently, my 2-year-old has started to ask this question whenever she notices me feeling stressed or frustrated, or when she does something that she knows might upset me. At first, I was taken aback. It saddened me to realize that my little one could sense my emotions and was aware that her actions might lead to my unhappiness. Initially, I would quickly plaster on a smile to mask my feelings and reassure her, “Yes, Mommy is always happy!” This would lift her spirits, and she would go back to her carefree play.
However, I soon realized that this approach wasn’t helping her understand the nuances of emotions. There were moments when she wouldn’t acknowledge her sister’s feelings after accidentally hurting her, or she would throw a tantrum when things didn’t go her way. Each time I tried to address these behaviors, she would look up at me with wide eyes and ask, “Is Mommy feeling okay?”
One day, after a significant outburst (from her, not me), I candidly replied, “No, Mommy is not happy right now!” Her face fell, and I felt a pang of guilt. How do you explain to a toddler that while I may be experiencing a moment of frustration, overall, I am still happy?
The reality is that mothers can experience a range of emotions—sadness, anger, frustration, exhaustion, and sometimes even disappointment. These feelings are part of life, especially in the whirlwind of motherhood. I want my daughter to understand that her actions impact others, and simultaneously, that we are all responsible for our own happiness. I aim to instill compassion in her and encourage honesty about feelings, so I must model that behavior myself.
Now, when she asks, “Is Mommy feeling okay?” after a minor mishap, like when the dog has an accident on the floor, I respond with something like, “Yes, Mommy is happy. But I’m also a little sad that you yelled at your sister,” or “Yes, Mommy is happy, but I’m frustrated that the dog made a mess again.” She usually responds with a bright, “Oh! Mommy will be fine,” and continues her playful activities.
By affirming my overall happiness while addressing my current emotions, I am helping both of us calm down and gain perspective. This specific stressor isn’t the end of the world; it doesn’t define my happiness. It reminds me that joy can coexist with frustration—“Yes, Mommy is happy, but she could really use a moment of peace and maybe a glass of wine right now.”
Moms can be stressed but still wear a smile, and it’s essential to teach our children about the complexity of emotions. For more insights on navigating the journey of home insemination, check out this article. If you’re seeking guidance on your fertility journey, Make a Mom is a great authority. Additionally, Cleveland Clinic provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, understanding emotions and fostering empathy in our children is a vital part of parenting. By discussing our feelings openly, we can teach our kids about the importance of compassion and self-awareness.