I hope it’s alright to call you Leo! I wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts after watching your incredible performance in The Revenant. It made me realize the intention behind that man bun look—no more worries there! I apologize for doubting you for a moment; I now understand your taste in supermodels a bit better.
Now, the reason for my letter isn’t just to express my admiration; I’d like to throw my hat in the ring as a potential date for the Oscars! Sure, I know you’ll likely take your lovely mom, Irmelin, which is totally justifiable—she did bring you into this world after all. But hear me out!
Why Should You Consider Me?
For starters, I’m not nuts—I’m on track to graduate with my master’s degree in marriage and family therapy this May. So, I promise I’m of sound mind! I may not be a model, but I do have blonde hair and, at 33, people often mistake me for someone much younger. Funny how ages change perspective, right?
I confess, I haven’t watched every single film you’ve starred in, but I did catch Titanic 11 times in theaters! That’s a little intense, I know, but I was just a teenager then, so it doesn’t count. I’ve got a few reasons why we’d make a great team at the Oscars:
- We both share an appreciation for hip-hop—Kanye West performing at your birthday party? That’s music to my ears!
- Your dance moves at Coachella looked like fun. I could show you a few more at the Vanity Fair after-party!
- My lucky number is 11, just like your birthday—today is the 11th. Coincidence? I think not!
- I grew up in the same town as your friend, Jeremy Renner. So, if you ever need a friendly face around, I’m nearby.
- I almost made it as a child actor once—doesn’t that sound like a fun conversation starter?
- I’m a Detroit Lions fan living in California—an interesting combo, right? I know you’re a Michigan fan, which makes us kindred spirits!
On a serious note, I believe this could be a special night for you. Your journey has led you to this moment, and the lessons you’ve learned along the way have shaped you into the incredible person you are today. I’d love to be there to cheer you on and maybe even hush the music producer who tries to interrupt your heartfelt speech.
But really, whether it’s the Oscars or a casual grocery trip, I admire how you stay grounded and committed to causes that matter. Your dedication to environmental issues and animal welfare truly inspires me. And let’s be honest, you do it all while looking pretty good!
So why not consider this crazy proposal?
With admiration,
Jennifer
Additional Resources
For more insights on family planning and insemination, you might find this post useful: Intracervical Insemination. Also, check out Make a Mom for valuable fertility supplements. And for excellent resources about pregnancy and home insemination, visit Hopkins Medicine.
In summary, while I may not be your first choice for a date, I believe we’d have a great time together, and I admire your work immensely.