First off, let’s get one thing straight: You are not crazy, you are not alone, and you are absolutely not doing a bad job. Remember that moment when you were anxious about giving birth, reassuring yourself that countless women have walked this path before? Well, believe me, countless women have also felt exactly what you’re feeling right now. I may not be inside your head, but I can assure you we’ve all faced the overwhelming challenges of being a first-time parent. Sure, you knew it would be tough, but did you expect it to be this tough?
And let’s talk about those picture-perfect parents on social media who claim they adored every single moment with their newborns, cherishing midnight feedings and diaper changes? Spoiler alert: they’re not being entirely truthful. Maybe they don’t even realize it because their minds have conveniently blocked out the chaos. Because, let’s face it, the reality of having a newborn can be a bit of a nightmare.
Pause for a second while I brace myself for the backlash from all the over-achieving moms out there. Waiting… waiting… OK, I think I’m in the clear.
Now, don’t get me wrong—newborns are incredibly precious. Those tiny toes that make you want to nibble, the sweet smell of their heads (just avoid the other end), and the way their little fingers curl around yours are absolutely heartwarming. But beyond that, the struggle can be quite real. When my little one, Mia, came into the world, I thought I was prepared. The first couple of weeks seemed manageable since all she did was sleep, and I thought, “We’ve got a good one!” But then reality hit, and it was like a rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for. No one warned me about the whirlwind that would follow.
During pregnancy, I was soaring on cloud nine, anticipating pure bliss, so who would dare to pop that bubble and tell me the truth? People would joke about sleeping while I still could, but what they should have said was, “Enjoy your freedom because it’s about to take a nosedive.”
Let’s be real here—ever seen a prisoner of war being tortured on TV? The sleep deprivation tactics they use with blaring music are basically what having a newborn feels like, except instead of an interrogator, it’s a tiny human who demands your attention every few hours. And just when you think you’ve appeased them, they’re back at it again, ready to keep you awake. And don’t even get me started on those hormones! They’re bouncing around like a pinball machine inside of you, making everything feel ten times worse.
Then there’s the breastfeeding saga; whether you’re experiencing the burning sensation of your nipples or dealing with the pressure of engorged breasts, it’s a whirlwind of discomfort. And let’s not forget your partner, who may stumble over their words or offer unsolicited advice that makes you want to roll your eyes. It’s a lot to handle, especially with well-meaning relatives chiming in with their own parenting tips.
I really wish someone had told me upfront that the early days of parenthood can be challenging. It would have reassured me that I wasn’t the only one struggling and that I wasn’t failing as a mom. Things will get better—at least in some ways, even if they become more complicated in others.
So, congratulations on your new baby! Embrace these wild days, and remember, you are not crazy, alone, or a bad parent, no matter what it may feel like.
With love,
Someone who’s been through it and now utilizes multiple forms of birth control, even though she adores her little ones.
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Summary:
Becoming a new parent is often more challenging than anticipated. This letter offers reassurance to new moms about the difficulties of early parenthood, emphasizing that they are not alone and that struggles are common. Cherishing the moments will come with time, and it’s okay to seek support and advice from reliable sources.
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