Parenting Insights
“How’s your little one sleeping?”
This is The Question.
It seems like everyone has it ready to go, right after the usual “Hi.” It’s often accompanied by a concerned head tilt, furrowed brows, and a sympathetic tone.
While I understand the curiosity—especially when talking to a sleep-deprived parent who looks more like a walking zombie than a functioning adult—I still find myself dreading it. The dread doesn’t stem from the question itself, but rather from the predictable follow-up.
The exchange typically unfolds like this:
“How’s he sleeping?” (cue the sympathetic head tilt)
“Not very well?” I respond, questioning my own reality.
“That’s tough.” (slow nod, somber tone) “Have you considered…?”
And that’s where I start to feel overwhelmed. The Question is just the bait leading me into a trap of unsolicited advice:
“Have you tried a white noise machine? What about formula? Have you let him cry it out? Have you read that book? Have you considered these methods?”
It feels like everyone has a suggestion, as if they’re each eager to share their personal wisdom. While I appreciate the intent, it can be utterly overwhelming. It seems there are endless approaches I’m missing, and if I could just uncover that magic solution, my baby would sleep through the night like every other child.
Recently, a friend of mine—who just had her first baby—asked me The Question. I could see the excitement in her eyes, fueled by her week-old experience and a mountain of parenting books she had read. I wasn’t sure what kind of sleep advice she’d offer, given her limited firsthand knowledge.
After I shared my usual response about my baby’s erratic sleep, she said something that stopped me in my tracks: “Oh, that’s pretty normal, huh?”
Normal. What a relieving concept.
Suddenly, my baby’s sleep struggles didn’t feel like a problem to fix or a failure on my part; it was simply a phase. Some babies just don’t sleep well, and that’s perfectly fine.
It may seem like an obvious realization, but it was incredibly liberating for me. I’m aware there are strategies and methods out there—books I could explore or practices I could adopt. I still strive for the goal of uninterrupted sleep at night instead of merely catnapping. I occasionally seek advice from trusted sources, but now, when people pose The Question, I respond confidently with five words, then shift the conversation: “He’s sleeping like a baby.”
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In summary, while sleep advice can often feel like a never-ending barrage, recognizing that struggles with sleep are normal can be a significant relief for new parents.