So, you’ve recently relocated to a new neighborhood, and your first invitation from a neighbor is to a sex toy party hosted by another resident. Just moments after her husband, in a mildly appalled tone, exclaims, “That’s not the kind of thing you invite new neighbors to—you’re making her uncomfortable,” you find yourself nodding along and agreeing to attend, all while wondering what just transpired.
The real concern isn’t just that it’s a sex toy party; it’s the uncertainty surrounding the etiquette of such an event when you don’t know a soul there, especially since you’ll soon be mingling with these same people at school events. What should you wear? What on earth do you bring as a hostess gift for an occasion like this? After a few days of contemplation and some questionable Google searches, the time for the party arrives. You ultimately decide to throw on an outfit that strikes a balance between casual and slightly dressy.
As you meet your neighbor in her driveway for a carpool to this gathering—a gathering you’re now oddly eager to experience—you realize that there will be no slipping in unnoticed. Your friendly neighbor insists on introducing you to every single woman in attendance, providing them with your name and where you live, all while you mentally prepare yourself for what lies ahead.
You hadn’t envisioned it quite like this, surrounded by an assortment of items ranging from the intriguing to the downright daunting, all displayed on a table aglow with flickering candles. Soon enough, everyone is seated in a circle, passing around toys that make you squirm a little inside. You cling to your sense of humor while sipping on red wine, and before you know it, you find yourself holding a peculiar pink contraption, feeling like you’re trying to maintain composure while capturing a spider from your basement.
As the moment of purchasing nears, panic sets in. Unlike weddings, where you can gauge the expected gift amount based on the couple’s website and venue, there’s no clear guideline for spending at a sex toy party, especially when it’s your first time meeting the hosts and their guests. You remember the lovely honey-soaked goat cheese paired with delicious cranberry crackers, but the wine was mediocre, and dessert options were limited. What does that mean for your gift budget? Is a simple cinnamon-flavored body dust enough, or would they expect you to spring for something that requires batteries and perhaps a personal lubricant you weren’t keen to taste test while making eye contact with future PTA members?
This dilemma weighs heavily on you. You want to make a good impression on women who could be in your life for decades, aiming to appear interesting without being over the top. You notice the hostesses likely hope for generous purchases, but this isn’t the type of gathering where you can stock up on holiday gifts for family members like you might at a candle or cosmetics party. As that thought sinks in, you gulp down another sip of wine and glance at your neighbor, who seems equally apprehensive about the evening. You decide to make a bold move and ask her, “What should I buy that won’t make me seem like a freak in the sheets or a total bore?” She laughs, shares a number, and with that insight, you approach the checkout area (metaphorically speaking, of course) and select the most innocuous items within the suggested budget, eager to escape the sticky situation.
By the end of the night, you feel a bit tipsy but satisfied, having made a new friend and hopefully chosen gifts that meet the unwritten social standards. You leave with some intriguing, PG-13 tales to share with your partner later. Little do you know, a week later, the hostess will surprise you on the street with a brown paper bag, in full view of several husbands from your neighborhood who know exactly what she sells. But that’s a story for another time.
If you found this article engaging, check out this other blog post on privacy policies for a deeper dive into related topics.
In summary, attending a sex toy party can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially for newcomers. Balancing etiquette, spending expectations, and personal comfort while trying to make connections can feel overwhelming. However, navigating these social waters can lead to new friendships and memorable stories.