It’s fascinating how people perceive me as this organized and self-assured individual. From the outside, it might seem like I effortlessly juggle raising my three children, maintaining a household, and pursuing my writing endeavors. However, the reality is far more complicated. Parenting often feels akin to attempting to navigate a yacht without any sailing knowledge. As for my writing, onlookers only witness the achievements while the setbacks remain my little secret.
Despite the challenges, I do find time to write, read, and indulge in moments of relaxation. Perhaps that’s what leads others to believe I possess some sort of superpower. But in truth, I’m just a mom.
Being a mom doesn’t equate to losing oneself completely in the role of motherhood or allowing it to dominate my daily life; it’s quite the opposite. To me, being a mom encompasses:
- Ensuring my kids are safe and healthy.
- Making sure they’re dressed appropriately for the weather (though matching outfits are not a priority).
- Providing nutritious meals and ensuring they get adequate sleep.
- Supporting their growth into well-adjusted members of society.
That’s the essence of it for me. While some mothers take on a multitude of additional responsibilities, I’ve chosen a different path.
- I’m not a chauffeur. I can’t even drive, and honestly, I prefer to avoid ferrying my kids to extracurricular activities.
- I’m not a teacher. While I did teach my children to read and value education, I leave their schooling to the professionals. Yes, I check their homework, but they are responsible for completing it.
- I’m not a gourmet chef. Sure, I can whip up delicious meals, but that’s for my own enjoyment. I don’t mind serving my kids simple hot dogs or ready-made dinners. My mood often dictates their meals.
- I’m not a housekeeper. Although I do laundry and clean, maintaining a pristine house isn’t my priority. I teach my kids to clean up after themselves and to do chores, preparing them for future independence. We also have a cleaning service that comes weekly.
- I’m not a mind reader. It’s not my responsibility to always know what my kids need or want. I refuse to stress over their behavior or worry about whether I’m damaging them emotionally. There are far bigger issues at hand.
- I’m not a detective. I don’t investigate missing items or try to determine who did what. If they’ve lost something, it’s gone, and they need to learn how to resolve conflicts among themselves.
- I’m not a personal entertainer. My kids have plenty of toys and friends to keep them occupied. They can also enjoy watching YouTube or playing on their iPads.
This approach to motherhood grants me the time to pursue my interests outside of parenting, such as reading, writing, and socializing.
I understand some women thrive on being fully immersed in motherhood. They adore crafting projects, shuttling their kids to activities, and curating elaborate birthday celebrations. For some, this path feels like a sacrifice, while for others, it’s a conscious and joyful choice. Personally, I have come to realize that simply being “just a mom” will never suffice for me. After years of feeling guilty about this, I’ve finally embraced it. I am just a mom, and that is more than enough.
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Summary
Being a mom doesn’t mean losing your identity; it’s about ensuring your children’s well-being while also carving out time for your passions. Embracing the role of a mom allows for flexibility and personal growth, as demonstrated by the experiences shared by Lisa Hartman.