I’ve come to a realization: I’m a self-centered mom. No denying it. Last night, when dessert rolled around, I treated myself to the biggest bowl of ice cream, leaving nothing for my husband or kids. It was all mine—pure indulgence.
This morning, as I relaxed on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee, catching the latest updates on the Today Show, my kids were busy packing their own lunches. Sure, I supervised from my comfy spot, but the actual sandwich-making? That was all on my eight and eleven-year-old. Priorities, right?
And later today, while my husband and kids are off conquering their daily grind, I’ll be hitting the pavement for a long, invigorating run with two friends. Sure, there’s grocery shopping on the to-do list, but no one in this house is starving just yet, and I don’t foresee any hunger crises arising in the next hour or so.
Just last week, I enjoyed lunch with a friend twice, purely to catch up and gossip about our chaotic lives. And yes, I’ve devoured two books this month, fitting in reading during the kids’ awake hours—one glorious Sunday afternoon, I even read for three straight hours while lounging outside with seltzer and lime in hand. Laundry? It could wait.
Am I selfish? Perhaps. Or is it simply self-care?
Every day, I meet women who bemoan their lack of time for personal indulgences, whether it’s showering, reading, or shopping for themselves. Each lament comes with a sigh and a resigned smile, as if to say, “This is just the reality of motherhood.” But you know what? I refuse to accept that.
Why must moms be expected to give endlessly without ever taking a moment for themselves? Where is it written that self-sacrifice is the only way to be a good mom? If there’s a blog promoting that nonsense, count me out.
Growing up, I remember being fascinated by my mom’s closet filled with beautiful shoes and dresses. I’d spend hours trying them on, dreaming of someday wearing such lovely things. My mom treated herself to nice clothes for outings with my dad, outfits that represented a different side of her—one that wasn’t solely focused on carting my brother and me around. She never sighed over my meager wardrobe, either.
My mom instilled in me the importance of escaping the chaos of daily life and indulging in little treats—be it a fresh haircut or a quick coffee break while running errands. Meeting a friend for lunch is crucial for maintaining sanity, especially when motherhood feels overwhelming.
I understand that when you’re knee-deep in toddler tantrums or managing a newborn, finding time for yourself can seem impossible. But small acts of self-care can still be integrated into your day. Sometimes, it’s okay for the kids to have the broken cookie. Sometimes, you can take a moment in the sun to check your social media instead of pushing the toddler on the swing. And yes, sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to decline when your child asks for help reenacting Frozen for the umpteenth time in favor of flipping through a magazine.
Let me be clear: I’m not advocating for a complete withdrawal from motherhood, à la reality TV stars. Our instincts as mothers drive us to nurture and support our children. But somewhere along the line, many of us lost sight of our own needs while prioritizing the well-being of our families.
Here’s the truth: If you don’t care for yourself physically, emotionally, or spiritually, you cannot fully care for others. It’s a simple fact. If you’re constantly giving without replenishing your own spirit, you won’t be able to show up as your best self for your loved ones. And let’s face it: a fresh pedicure can make managing a toddler’s meltdown just a little easier.
I get it—some days are so hectic that just making it to bedtime feels like an Olympic sport. Many mothers can relate to feeling like they are balancing a dozen tasks at once. But guess what? That chaos will still be there after a ten-minute shower or a quick breather. So go ahead and take that shower. And when the kids inevitably bang on the door, you’ll at least know they’re still alive.
Let me say this loud and clear: THE WORLD WILL NOT END IF YOU PRIORITIZE YOURSELF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Your kids will be just fine if you take a moment for your own needs—whether it’s for a deep conditioning treatment or a few minutes lost in a good book. They might even learn how to handle things on their own if they really need to. The saying goes, “necessity is the mother of invention,” and it rings especially true when it comes to hungry little ones.
So take a stand today. Indulge in that big bowl of ice cream. Order that extra-large latte. Go the extra mile on your run instead of rushing home. Check out more of my thoughts on this topic in one of our other blog posts, which you can read here.
You deserve it. Because at the end of the day, you’re the mom, and that’s reason enough.
Summary
Embracing self-care as a mother is essential for maintaining balance in life. It’s okay to indulge in personal moments, whether that’s enjoying a bowl of ice cream or taking a few minutes to read. Prioritizing your own needs can enhance your ability to care for your family, and finding small ways to treat yourself is key to avoiding burnout.
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