Let me share a personal story with you. The woman in the first image—yes, that’s me. This was five years ago, after the birth of three little ones. The picture was taken at a lake just two months before I turned 35. At that time, I weighed 123 pounds, the lightest I had been since I was a teenager. When I walked into a J Crew to buy some khaki pants, I asked for a size 8, but the sales associate insisted I looked more like a size 4. I thanked her for her compliment but insisted on the size 8, and they ended up slipping down my hips.
Yet, despite being the thinnest I had been in years, I looked at that photo and thought I looked overweight.
Now, consider this more recent photo of me with my five kids, taken just two months ago, four months after my 40th birthday. In this image, I proudly embrace my role as a mother.
Throughout the years, my weight has fluctuated dramatically—from the highs of the bottom photo to the lows of the top one. My journey has been less of a joyful ride and more like a relentless rollercoaster. This is the reality of navigating pregnancy, breastfeeding, nursing school, and the conflicting emotions around exercising.
The body in the “after” photo was achieved after losing a beloved baby girl, experiencing a marriage, a divorce, and then a remarriage. It was a product of multiple relocations, a broken leg, and countless hours catching babies as a labor and delivery nurse, followed by supporting people in their final moments as a hospice nurse.
The “ideal” physique that many might envy was the result of an exhausting routine: consuming only 1,000 calories a day, running 35 miles weekly, averaging three hours of sleep, meticulously tracking every bite I took, and enduring the physical challenges of hospital shifts. I lost my menstrual cycle and often pushed through hunger and fatigue, all in pursuit of that thin ideal.
Confused yet? You’re not alone. Many may look at these contrasting images and think one of a few things. “Wow, you looked so good! What happened?” or “How did you let yourself gain so much weight?” Some might even wonder why I appear less attractive in the “after” picture.
Perhaps a few will bluntly call me fat. Others may say, “You look happy and healthy.” The truth is, I embody all of those descriptors.
I am here to challenge the prevailing stereotype that equates thinness with happiness. The notion that being slim guarantees joy is simply false. My experience taught me that being thin did not translate to happiness. While being a size 4 made shopping easier and drew attention, it also led to obsessive thoughts about my body and a fixation on workouts at the expense of my well-being.
I am not suggesting that thin individuals can’t be happy—of course they can! Instead, I want to emphasize that happiness is not contingent upon one’s weight. Being overweight doesn’t automatically mean unhappiness.
I’ve been contemplating this message for weeks, and a recent post by Amelia Foster inspired me to share my thoughts. We need more voices to counter the overwhelming media narratives promoting weight loss pills and quick fixes.
Since that last picture was taken, my recent medication changes—aimed at managing my bipolar disorder—have added 10 more pounds to my frame. While it’s disheartening that many of my clothes no longer fit, I’ve gained something far more valuable: a sense of inner peace and joy that I’ve never experienced before. Ten pounds feel trivial compared to the time I now spend with my children and the restful nights I enjoy.
I’m content. I’m overweight, and I’m content.
Want to really surprise those around you? Embrace being overweight and joyful. Wear that bikini without hesitation. Indulge in pizza and ice cream without guilt. Savor life with a glass of wine and make no apologies for it. Society wants to dictate that thinness equals happiness, but that is a deceitful narrative. Industries thrive on our insecurities, perpetuating the lie that only the beautiful deserve love and joy. But maybe beautiful can be redefined to include those who are not thin.
For more insights into this topic, check out our post on home insemination at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re interested in understanding more about this journey, look into Make a Mom, an authority on the subject. Additionally, for valuable pregnancy insights, visit News Medical.
In summary, my journey shows that happiness isn’t defined by weight. It’s about finding joy in life’s moments, regardless of societal expectations.