My son is an introspective, literature-obsessed, slightly quirky individual. He also has his moments of absent-mindedness, laser-like focus, and a tendency to become emotional over the simplest of thoughts.
He’s basically a younger version of me.
Sometimes, it’s a bit overwhelming just how much he mirrors my own personality. When he’s engrossed in a book, oblivious to the chaos around him, it’s eerily reminiscent of my own childhood. He can remain composed for ages, then suddenly break down in tears over something minor, like when his sister makes a silly face. Raising this miniature version of myself is both enlightening and incredibly frustrating.
Here are ten reasons why:
- When he pulls off a silly stunt, it seems my DNA is on trial. For instance, when he forgets he’s brushing his teeth and just stands there, bewildered, my husband shakes his head and says, “Wow, he’s so much like you.” It’s frustrating, but undeniably accurate.
- I’m not the best role model for adulting. When I scold him for chewing with his mouth full, he can’t take me seriously—because I’m doing the exact same thing.
- I can easily guess what he’s thinking, which can be problematic, particularly when he’s giving me the death stare after I’ve confiscated the iPad.
- I witness him grappling with the same challenges I faced growing up. Take common sense, for example. It’s a skill that requires learning through experience, often while being laughed at. I remember sweeping my parents’ garage with the door wide open, resulting in dirt flying everywhere.
- I find it easier to deal with my daughter, who takes after my husband. I’ve learned how to navigate those traits much better.
- I’m realizing just how exasperating I can be as a person. I struggle with listening, I have zero sense of direction, and I frequently forget things. He shares these traits, making us both equally irritating at times.
- I want to guide him through life’s challenges, but I know he’ll ultimately learn best through his own failures—just like I did. He needs to experience life, even if it means falling out of a tree or running into a pole.
- At parent-teacher meetings, I now have to endure hearing about my own youthful antics. It’s a bit mortifying to hear about my past crushes and goofy behaviors, though at least there are some positive reports about his math scores.
- Engaging in discussions with a younger version of myself is like trying to reason with, well, myself. We can easily go in circles until both of us are left frustrated.
- I have to relive every awkward social situation through him. His kind heart will face heartbreak, and he will feel isolated in groups at times.
My hope is to guide him a little through life, even if I don’t always lead him the right way. That’s partly why we welcomed his little sister into our family.
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In summary, raising a child who is a reflection of yourself can be both a rewarding and challenging journey. It offers unique insights into your own behaviors, while also presenting the opportunity to guide another human being through life’s ups and downs.