I don’t know if it’s a societal trend, a human quirk, or something uniquely female, but I’ve noticed a troubling pattern among many mothers: the tendency to downplay their own achievements.
“Oh, those cupcakes didn’t turn out that great,” sighs the mom who spent hours perfecting her treats for the school carnival.
“Oh, I’m not that good at this,” says the mother who somehow juggled work, helped with homework, navigated tween drama, and even made time for her partner.
“Oh, it’s not like I did anything special,” says the woman who grew a human being, gave birth, and nourished that little one with her body.
When we receive compliments, many of us instinctively diminish our accomplishments or even put ourselves down. Here are a few reasons why this happens and why it’s time to embrace our awesomeness instead.
Feeling Unworthy of Praise
First off, we often feel unworthy of praise. Some of us are just plain uncomfortable accepting compliments. This can stem from childhood experiences where shame was the name of the game, but not always. The truth is, if you’re not deserving of praise, then neither is anyone else. You are just as valuable as any other person out there. It might take time to shift your mindset, but give it a shot! You don’t have to sing your own praises, but there’s no need to belittle yourself when someone else recognizes your efforts. Just accept the compliment with grace – it’s perfectly okay!
Confusing Self-Deprecation with Humility
Next, we tend to confuse self-deprecation with humility. While humility is a commendable quality, criticizing ourselves isn’t the same. It’s not virtuous to tear ourselves down. One of the most humble individuals I’ve encountered was a woman known for her inspiring speeches. After one, I watched as she graciously accepted compliments with a simple, “Thank you. You’re so kind.” This not only acknowledged the compliment but also lifted others up. Humility elevates; self-deprecation just makes others feel like they need to lift you up. Not quite the same thing!
The Fear of Rejection
Then there’s the fear of rejection. Confidence does come with risks. By putting ourselves down first, it feels like we’re guarding against the sting of criticism. But in reality, we’re just harming our own self-image. Most self-deprecating folks wouldn’t dream of belittling a friend’s achievements, so why do we do it to ourselves? We should treat ourselves with the same kindness and respect we offer to others.
Setting an Example for Our Children
Moms, we especially need to step away from the self-deprecating talk. We’re not doing our kids any favors when we make motherhood seem trivial or easy. It’s neither. It’s tough, and it matters. Our children need to see that! Everyone should recognize the significance of what we do every day.
Motherhood is already underappreciated in our society. If we diminish our own roles, how can we advocate for better maternal care, improved family leave policies, or more community support for working and stay-at-home moms? If we undermine our daily efforts, what message are we sending to our children? Kids learn more from our actions than our words. Are we showing them to respect us and model healthy self-worth and confidence? We can’t expect them to know their own strength if we’re constantly downplaying our own.
Embrace Your Greatness
So, let’s own our greatness and celebrate each other, mamas! Our contributions to raising amazing kids are absolutely worthy of recognition. The next time someone compliments your parenting, career, style, or anything else, just reply with a genuine “Thank you. You’re so kind.” Embrace your greatness, and trust that the world will follow your lead.
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In Summary
It’s time for moms to stop self-deprecating and start owning their incredible talents. Accept compliments gracefully, recognize your worth, and set a powerful example for your children. Remember: motherhood is meaningful work, and you deserve all the accolades that come your way!