If you’re a mother, you’re likely no stranger to the challenges of sleep deprivation. After caring for your adorable little ones throughout the night, you muster the strength to rise before dawn and juggle the multitude of roles you embody: caregiver, partner, professional, and homemaker. The fact that you make it through the day is nothing short of astounding—truly, you deserve a cape! In your exhausted state, however, it’s likely you’ve faced a few “oops” moments you might prefer to keep to yourself. Fear not, as I’m here to share those experiences for you.
Here’s a fresh take on the top 50 things that sleep-deprived moms might find themselves doing:
- Down more than three cups of coffee before noon. (Come on, your local café barista knows your order by heart.)
- Mistakenly pour breast milk or formula into your coffee instead of creamer.
- Use TV as a stand-in babysitter.
- Enjoy cold pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner.
- Skip showers and just layer on deodorant.
- Toss hair into a messy bun instead of taking the time to style it.
- Dodge pictures like a pro whenever someone pulls out their camera.
- Rock yesterday’s makeup like it’s a trend.
- Borrow diapers and wipes from anyone and everyone—friends, neighbors, even the lost-and-found.
- Nod off in the weirdest of places and positions.
- Toss kids’ clothes in the trash when the stains become unbearable.
- Spend excessive time in the bathroom just to grab a moment of solitude.
- Chew gum instead of brushing your teeth.
- Drop the kids off at daycare and sneak a nap in your car.
- Connect with other weary moms over your shared sleep deprivation.
- Get lost on familiar routes, despite having driven them countless times.
- Let your car double as a garbage can and storage space for all things kid-related.
- Skip shaving unless it’s date night (and sometimes even then, let’s be real).
- Accidentally lock your keys and kids in the car.
- Keep postponing walking the dog.
- Avoid checking the mailbox, hoping that if you don’t see bills, they’ll somehow disappear.
- Forget to collect mail for so long that it gets returned to the post office.
- Lose track of what day it is.
- Feel envious of anyone who appears well-rested.
- Be eternally grateful for anyone willing to babysit while you catch a break.
- Play your children’s songs in the car even when they’re not with you.
- Use your partner’s toothbrush because yours is MIA.
- Re-read the same paragraph in a book repeatedly until you give up.
- Leave groceries in the car and forget about them until your vehicle starts to smell.
- Start sipping on alcohol at 4 PM to help survive until bedtime.
- Count down the hours until your kids take naps or go to bed.
- Make appointments for yourself, only to forget them completely.
- Rejoice when plans are canceled, giving you a chance to stay home and relax.
- Visit the grocery store and forget your entire shopping list.
- Opt for online shopping instead. (Thanks for saving us, Amazon Prime!)
- Tell yourself, “One day I’ll sleep again,” or “Tomorrow I’ll actually leave the house.”
- Change your hair color to something low-maintenance.
- Question whether you fed the cat/dog/fish and end up feeding them twice.
- Forget if you locked the garage door or turned off appliances, forcing you to turn back.
- Live in yoga pants daily—and occasionally wear them inside out.
- Mistakenly apply lotion or soap to your toothbrush.
- Leave laundry in the washing machine until it starts to smell, then wash it again.
- Bump into furniture often enough to collect unexplained bruises.
- Have emotional outbursts in public, leaving witnesses in shock—neighbors, doctors, delivery drivers, and more.
- Experience fender benders or collisions with the garage door frequently.
- Embrace disposable plates and cups to avoid a pile-up of dirty dishes.
- Laugh at things that aren’t funny—and wonder if you’re losing your mind.
- Plan to make a fabulous meal, buy the ingredients, then watch them rot in the fridge.
- Wish for just one day where your partner could handle breastfeeding.
- Reminisce about the days when you felt in control and wonder if they’ll ever return.
If any of these resonate with you, congratulations—you’re likely a sleep-deprived mom! Welcome to this unique community! Membership is complimentary and may last for the next 18 years. For more insights on topics like home insemination, check out our other writings here.
For those looking into home insemination, Make a Mom provides fantastic resources to guide you through the process. Additionally, WomensHealth.gov is an excellent source for pregnancy-related information.
In summary, navigating motherhood while sleep-deprived is an extraordinary journey filled with challenges and humorous moments. Embrace it all!