“Hey everyone, we’re meeting for brunch downtown on Sunday at 11, and then we’re off for some retail therapy. You in?”
This is a common way my friends invite me to social gatherings. While they are not wealthy, they can afford to indulge in a good sale or splurge on items from home parties hosted by local vendors. Meanwhile, I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to decline these enticing offers. It’s not that I don’t want to join; I genuinely do enjoy their company, but I’m often strapped for cash.
“Oh, that sounds amazing, but I have to help my daughter with her school project,” I respond, fabricating an excuse to maintain my dignity. The reality is, I can’t afford to go out because I just settled the electricity and phone bills, leaving me with barely enough for gas and groceries for the week. While I know my friends wouldn’t judge me for being honest about my finances, consistently saying, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m broke,” would inevitably lead to awkwardness.
Money is a tricky topic, often avoided in conversations to prevent discomfort. My mother always emphasized that three subjects should remain off-limits: money, religion, and politics. While I’ve found it hard to stay silent on political matters, I’ve adhered to her advice regarding personal finances. However, in the interest of fostering a more inclusive and honest environment, I think it’s time to share the realities of being the financially struggling friend. I know I’m not alone, as many parents find themselves wrestling with similar issues while reluctantly turning down invites to socialize.
The Impact of Financial Struggles
Being financially strapped means missing out on travel opportunities. I watch as my online friends book flights and excitedly share plans for summer reunions, knowing I simply can’t join them. It also means skipping manicures and brunches, and declining girls’ night outs because I have bills to pay. When it comes down to choosing between feeding my children and enjoying a day out, the decision is straightforward.
Being broke often leads to tough conversations with my kids, especially when they can’t comprehend why we can’t visit places like Disney, while their friends can. I find myself promoting “staycations” that are budget-friendly, like our annual backyard camping trips.
The Little Things We Miss
When funds are tight, the simple pleasure of shopping at Target or grabbing a quick coffee from Starbucks becomes a distant fantasy. I don’t experience the thrill of walking out with a cart full of items I didn’t plan to buy. I once tried to embrace “drunk and Prime” shopping during the holidays, but I had to scramble to cancel orders the next day to avoid overdrawing my account.
Living paycheck to paycheck means I’m always thinking about money in a practical and, at times, overwhelming way. I meticulously read unit prices, create weekly budgets, hunt for deals, and cut coupons. My meal planning is essential to ensuring our family has enough to eat.
Finding Resourcefulness
Yet, being broke has taught me to be resourceful in the kitchen. I can roast a whole chicken, use the leftovers for sandwiches, and make stock from the bones for soup. I’ve learned to appreciate what I have and remain thankful that our basic needs are met, even if I occasionally yearn for the chance to splurge on something as simple as brunch with friends.
Life can be tough, and parenting can amplify those challenges when finances are tight. But here’s my truth: I’m broke, I’m not a bad friend or person; I’m just a mom prioritizing my family’s needs, even if it means fibbing a little when turning down your generous invitations. If you want to read more about similar experiences, check out this one of our other blog posts. And for those looking into options for home insemination, a reputable source for kits is here.
Conclusion
In summary, being the financially struggling friend can be isolating and challenging, but it’s a reality many face. It requires balancing responsibilities while trying to maintain relationships, often leading to creative solutions in both budgeting and social interactions.