Next week, I’m embarking on a getaway with my close friend, and I must admit: I won’t be missing my child at all. We’ll enjoy four days and nights of freedom, complete with our own cozy beds, long hot showers every day, and coffee so fresh it could burn your tongue. We’ll have uninterrupted adult conversations, interspersed with tranquil moments and leisurely bike rides through nature. I’ll retire for the night whenever I wish and awaken with the sun, between the hours of “not-too-late” and “whenever-I-feel-like-it.” I can even indulge in that second glass of wine, knowing that my only nighttime responsibility is to myself.
I might feel a twinge of longing for my toddler around bedtime, when I’ll miss the comforting weight of his sleepy little body in my arms and our delightful routine of laughter and lullabies. But that’s the extent of it.
Honestly, from the moment I learned I was expecting, I looked forward to having someone else share the joys—and challenges—of parenthood. I didn’t want to relinquish all responsibility, but I certainly wished for a partner in this journey. Luckily, my child’s father is a wonderful co-parent, making the experience more enriching.
Our initial days with my son were intense; he faced a stroke shortly after birth and spent his first week in the NICU. I was there every hour, pumping milk and keeping vigil by his side. After six long days, when he finally came home, I was overjoyed but quickly felt the urge to carve out some personal space. So, I pumped and left him in his father’s care for a few hours—mostly because my body was begging for relief!
Fast forward seven months, and my son was diagnosed with serious food allergies, leading to a homebound routine filled with anxiety. I often counted down the minutes until my husband returned or until I could finally escape for a brief moment of solitude in the city.
Although my son is now flourishing, I still crave those breaks. I need time to think, to breathe, and to disconnect from the demands of motherhood—even if just for a little while. These moments are rare but essential for me to process life and maintain my sanity.
I resist the notion that I’m failing as a mother, especially when I see so many other moms who struggle with the idea of stepping away from their kids. I can’t relate. For me, motherhood cannot consume my entire existence; it’s simply too overwhelming.
I need more. Yes, I said it—something that many mothers feel hesitant to admit. I require social connections (but not too many, as crowds can be overwhelming) and solitary time to recharge, which ultimately helps me be a more engaged and present mom when I am home. My son is like the planet Venus in my universe, but he cannot be my Sun. Honestly, stepping away from him allows me to reconnect with my desire to be with him. It might sound selfish, but it keeps me grounded and sane.
So, I’ll relish this time with hot coffee, serene walks, and the bliss of being child-free. When I return, I’ll be ready to embrace my role as the attentive, loving mother my little Venus deserves.
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Summary
Embracing the need for personal space as a mother is vital for maintaining mental health. Taking breaks allows for rejuvenation and enhances the parenting experience, fostering a balanced approach to motherhood.