Parenting
By Jamie L. Carter
Updated: Aug. 3, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 13, 2015
The evening drizzle was hardly a bother the other night—nothing like earlier when I could barely see across the street. I had the option to pull into the school parking lot and scurry with my daughter and husband to the sports banquet. Surely, we’d beat the rain. But I chose to pause at the cafeteria entrance and insisted they head in without me. I wanted to park on my own.
“This is what Grandpa would do,” I told Mia, our 16-year-old.
My father passed away in May, and while Mia and her younger brother Jake, 14, are old enough to remember his warmth, I often find myself wishing those memories would be reinforced. Today, on Grandparents Day, that yearning only intensifies. It’s their first Grandparents Day without Grandpa and the first one with three instead of four grandparents.
My kids are wonderful—bright, entertaining, and kind. But they’re also typical teenagers: a bit self-absorbed, stubborn, and moody. My dad’s battle with lung cancer, which spanned 16 months and included numerous treatments and hospital stays, should inspire some valuable lessons for them. So, beyond the usual tasks like driving them around, I share these three lessons with them:
1. LGLGLG!
This little phrase—pronounced “el-gee-el-gee-el-gee”—was a weekly anthem during my childhood. My dad would enthusiastically shout it before my brother and I embarked on Saturday errands. He’d stand in our cozy living room, brimming with excitement: “LGLGLG!”
Only as a teenager did I realize it was an abbreviation for “Let’s Go, Let’s Go, Let’s Go!” My dad was always eager to tackle the day, eager to spend time with us while giving Mom a break. After making breakfast, washing dishes, and organizing his to-do list, he was ready for action. Life’s challenges, like a tough workweek or an unkempt lawn, never seemed to weigh him down. I want my kids to remember the vibrant energy he brought to everyday tasks, even when exhaustion crept in.
2. Savor Every Moment
Whenever my parents visited, we indulged in Alaskan king crab legs. Dad would return from the store with six pounds of the delicacy, steaming and seasoned with Old Bay. We’d cover the dining room table with newspaper, melt butter, and prepare our dipping sauces. While Mia cracked into her crab legs, Jake enjoyed his McDonald’s, opting for the easier route.
Dad, however, had a way of sharing the best parts with Mom, even if it slowed him down. He’d give her the whole legs, relishing every ounce of meat he could extract from those tough shells. His thoroughness and determination in small pleasures were a testament to his character. I want my children to embrace that same enthusiasm, whether diving into crab legs or any other endeavor.
3. Embrace Blessings
My dad was a “bless you” aficionado—saying it not just after sneezes but also after coughs, yawns, and hiccups. While Jake insists that we only joked about him saying it for other bodily functions, I can clearly picture him doing it.
As Dad grew weaker and could no longer offer his customary “bless you,” I found myself missing those spontaneous wishes. It made me realize that his intentions were genuine and heartfelt, not just reflexive. After his passing, Mia surprised me one night by announcing she was making tea, echoing Dad’s cherished bedtime ritual of offering something special to Mom. It struck me how much she had absorbed about him, and I hope it means she truly listened to all the stories I shared.
Today, on Grandparents Day, if you still have a grandparent in your life, take a moment to show them that you’re listening too.
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In summary, through my father’s legacy, I hope my children grasp the importance of enthusiasm, sharing, and the power of simple blessings.