Parenting
Ever since I became a parent, I feel like I’ve stepped into a comedy sketch gone wrong. It’s as if I’m on a stage, fumbling through a script, and the cameras are rolling. After a particularly intense lecture in the car, I turned to my sister in the passenger seat and whispered, “I have no idea what I’m doing!” But one thing I do know is how to apologize. Whether it’s feeling guilty about work, raising my voice, or accidentally nudging my kid out of the way (with no malice, of course), I crouch down to meet her big, beautiful eyes and say, “Mommy is sorry.” I embrace my mistakes, acknowledge them, and we keep going.
What I often overlook, though, is that I’ve let some wonderful parts of my life fade away since becoming a mom. It’s time to make amends for those losses.
Dear Breasts,
Ah, my lovely twins! Remember the thrill when you filled out that B cup? I do! It was a real “Dear Diary” moment. But then came the insatiable baby, and all those dreams of being perky vanished. I apologize for letting our brief moment of glory turn into a sacrifice for sustenance. You deserved more. I’ve got a gift card for a stylish lingerie store in my wallet. How about we indulge in some much-needed retail therapy together? It might not bring back the B cup, but we can still have an A+ time!
Dear TV Shows Post-2010,
I’m truly sorry for not keeping up with you. My friends and the media keep reminding me how fantastic you are—how I’ll never know the joys of “Breaking Bad,” “Stranger Things,” or “The Crown.” When I’m old, and we can plug USBs into our brains, I promise to binge-watch all of you.
Dear Memory,
Oops! What was I saying again?
Dear Car Floor,
I sincerely apologize. It’s a battlefield down there with crumbs and remnants of snacks that I can’t keep up with. My daughter must be tossing her snacks like confetti whenever I’m not looking. I can’t even remember what color you used to be. I promise to clean you up someday!
Dear Magazines,
I see you, stacked high and full of enticing words. I haven’t forgotten your allure. If I could just find a moment to glance at your covers! Maybe in a year or even a decade, I’ll finally dive into your fashion tips. Perhaps I’ll just move you to the bathroom for some quality “me time.”
Dear Childless Friends,
I’m sorry for repeating stories and forgetting who I’ve told them to. If you were there, I owe you a double apology. I might even exaggerate a bit, making it sound like I’m a terrible friend who has to spice up my life. I’m just trying to tell a good story while juggling everything else!
Dear Sleep,
Oh, my long-lost love, I’m sorry for not fighting harder for you every day. You were the beautiful dream I took for granted. One day, we’ll reunite, and I’ll rest peacefully while floating through life’s chaos.
Dear Husband’s Anatomy,
I’d apologize, but honestly, this is all your doing!
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In summary, every mom has her challenges and moments of regret, but acknowledging them is part of the journey. From lost sleep to forgotten hobbies, these apologies serve as reminders of the beautiful chaos that is parenthood.