Hey there, my sweet little munchkins,
I want to take a moment to say I’m really sorry for having to work. I know it means I sometimes have to tuck you in early because I’m worn out from a long day. I hate that when you’re feeling under the weather, my first thought is usually, “Can I take a day off tomorrow?” I wish I could be the one at home with you when you’re sick, instead of being stuck in meetings that seem to last forever.
I’m sorry I miss those early morning moments when you wake up and want to tell me all about your dreams. Instead, I’m at work dreaming of being home with you. I can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt when I’m munching on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich with coworkers instead of sharing it with you. And when your babysitter tells you, “Mommy will be home soon,” I want to scream, “Soon needs to be now!”
I’m sorry I have to engage in grown-up discussions about budgets and schedules instead of getting lost in the wonders of butterflies and imaginary tea parties with you. I wish I could spend my time racing toy cars on the kitchen floor rather than ironing my work clothes. Work has a funny way of creeping into home life, doesn’t it? Sometimes it feels like I see my computer screen more than I see the sparkle in your eyes.
I’m sorry I often say, “Just one more thing for work,” when you’re begging me to play hide-and-seek. And oh, those rainy days when we could sleep in—I’m just as bummed as you are when we can’t take the time to relax. Weekends fly by too quickly, and dinner prep often feels like a race against the clock.
Other kids might have their moms drop them off and pick them up from school, and I wish I could do that too. I know my Pinterest boards are filled with crafty ideas that we’ll probably never get around to trying. Often, I find myself witnessing your milestones from afar, and it breaks my heart. I’m sorry you hear your dad and me discussing who will take you to the doctor’s appointment next. And I wish I could heal your boo-boos with a kiss instead of a FaceTime call.
I work hard to give you what I didn’t have as a child—family vacations, a college fund, and maybe even those extra dress-up clothes you love. I’m trying to build a better life for you, but that doesn’t take away the guilt I feel. I knew I’d have to work when I became a mom, but the reality is way tougher than I ever imagined.
I never anticipated how my heart would grow when I’m with you and how it would ache when I’m away. I’m sorry for feeling this guilt, and I know you can sense the sadness during those long hugs or when I hold your hand a little too tightly as we walk to the car. But amidst all this, I’m also incredibly grateful.
I’m thankful that you understand why I need to work, and that you appreciate the life my job provides. You still call me your best friend, even when it feels like we’re passing ships in the night. The best part? When I squeeze your hand too tightly, you squeeze back even harder.
If you ever want to learn more about home insemination, check out this resource on pregnancy, or explore this in-home insemination kit for more insights. And if you’re curious about different methods, you can read more in this article about intracervical insemination.
In summary, while I may not always be there physically, my love for you is immense, and I’m doing it all to create a better future for us. Thanks for being the amazing kids that you are!