I was running errands the other day, and as I tuned into the local classic rock station, I nearly dropped my coffee when I heard Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam belting out “Even Flow.” I mean, when did the grunge of the ’90s become “classic rock”? Last I checked, these stations were supposed to be all about Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones, not Pearl Jam and Nirvana. I guess that means I’m officially part of the classic club. It’s amusing, though—I don’t feel any older, unless I indulge in a bit too much wine and then spend three days recovering. Back in my 20s, I could bounce back in six hours!
As I approach my 39th birthday, with the big 4-0 lurking just around the corner, I reflect on my past. After a dramatic breakup left me in tears on my 30th birthday in New Orleans, I’m pretty sure my 40th will feel like a cakewalk. While I may not feel older, I definitely feel wiser. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to relive my twenties, filled with questionable choices and insecurities. Here are five invaluable lessons I learned during that decade that I carry with me into my next chapter:
1. You Don’t Know Everything
In my late teens and early 20s, I thought I had life all figured out—especially what was best for me. Relationships, careers, you name it; I was quick to judge myself and others. If only someone had told me that education is a lifelong journey and no one can truly know it all. As I continue my PhD studies, I remember that life experiences often teach us more than textbooks ever could.
2. You Don’t Need a Master Plan
There’s so much pressure on young people to map out their futures perfectly. Get good grades, snag a job, and check off life milestones like a to-do list. But here’s the truth: it’s totally okay to change paths and explore new opportunities. My journey through various careers taught me that flexibility can lead to unexpected, rewarding experiences.
3. Embrace Your Body
I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body and self-image, especially in my early 20s. It’s tough when societal standards define beauty. I wish someone had told me to love my body rather than suggesting the latest diet or fitness trend. At some point, I started a habit of standing in front of the mirror and celebrating three things I liked about myself. It takes practice, but it’s an uplifting way to shift focus from flaws to strengths.
4. Live Within Your Means
Like many, I learned the value of money as a teenager. Working as a nursing aide to fund my love for designer clothes, I thought a better paycheck meant more spending. By 25, I had a closet full of fashion but little else to show for my hard work. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I truly grasped the difference between needs and wants.
5. Know the Difference Between Smart Risks and Foolish Choices
We’ve all heard that saying: “No risk, no reward.” True, but some risks are just plain reckless. Walking around a new city alone or drinking and driving fall into the “stupid” category. I’ve been fortunate to come out of my youthful escapades relatively unscathed, while many others haven’t been so lucky. Maturity has taught me that taking risks should lead to growth and adventure, not danger.
Having spent years guiding young adults, I realize that some lessons can only be learned through experience. I’m bracing myself for when my 8-year-old daughter hits 18, knowing I might need some wine and a stress ball to get through it! But for now, I’m grateful for the wisdom that comes with age.
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Summary
Reflecting on my 20s, I’ve gathered five key lessons: the importance of humility in knowledge, the value of flexibility in life plans, self-love and body positivity, financial awareness, and distinguishing between smart risks and foolish choices. These insights continue to shape my journey as I approach my 40s.