Updated: Aug. 3, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 31, 2015
Last night, I had the pleasure of taking my fourteen-year-old daughter and her two best friends to a concert featuring One Direction. Over the past few years, I’ve taken her to several performances, including The Jonas Brothers, Camp Rock, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus (before the twerking era), Bruno Mars, Jingle Ball, and most recently, 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction.
Some parents might dread the idea of attending a concert with their teenage girls. The piercing shrieks of excited teens certainly isn’t the most soothing sound, and the late-night traffic can be a nightmare. But honestly? I enjoy pop music, love going to concerts, and above all, cherish the time I get to spend with my daughter.
To celebrate her 14th birthday at this concert, we went all out. I surprised the girls with white t-shirts and puffy fabric paint, and they had a blast decorating them with “One Direction” and the titles of their favorite songs, as well as the names of the band members—Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis, and Zayn (I double-checked those names on Google). I even bought some window paint, which they used to scribble “Honk If You Love One Direction” on the back of my car. As we made our way to Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, we were greeted with honks from fellow fans, and we laughed about all the new friends we were making on the Schuylkill Expressway. While the girls were busy chatting and posting on Instagram, they expressed their gratitude for me taking them along, thanking me multiple times.
During the car ride, my daughter asked me what concerts I attended at her age. I had to pause and think, but eventually shared that my first concert was Donny & Marie and the Osmond Brothers at the Allentown Fair. I was absolutely smitten with Donny, dreaming every night that he would wait for me to grow up so we could marry. I could tell the girls understood—just swap Donny for Harry Styles! I also mentioned seeing Genesis and later Aerosmith and REM in high school, which impressed them, especially since they recognized Steven Tyler as the “really old judge from American Idol.”
Once we arrived at “the Linc,” I let the girls roam freely. They chose their concert t-shirts and stood in line for fries and water while I tried to blend into the background. However, when 5 Seconds of Summer took the stage, I couldn’t resist standing up and dancing along; I thought they were fantastic, and I agreed with the girls that the drummer was pretty cute!
After the opening act, there was about an hour wait until One Direction came on. My daughter and her friends were engaged in conversation while I enjoyed the beautiful evening, checking social media and people-watching. That’s when it hit me. My daughter turned to me and asked, “Mom, are you bored? You know, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Some of my friends are here by themselves.”
I must have looked shocked because I quickly replied, “No, I’m fine. Really!” But inside, it was like a lightbulb turned on. I scanned the crowd and noticed many parents with younger kids, probably 12 and under. Should I have let my daughter attend the concert solo with her friends? Suddenly, I felt a mix of insecurity, disappointment, and a tinge of sadness.
Parenting has these unexpected moments that hit you hard. You might not realize it until you’re trying to squeeze your child into a car seat that they’ve clearly outgrown. You cling to feeding them pureed foods even when they’re ready for finger foods. You watch as they head off to preschool without a glance back, leaving you in tears. Suddenly, they’re riding a bike without training wheels, and you’re running behind them like a goof. And now, I was witnessing my daughter becoming independent—ready for concerts on her own.
This was undeniably one of those moments. My daughter was confidently asserting her ability to attend a concert with her friends, and she was absolutely right. She’s a well-adjusted, mature young woman about to enter high school, and she can handle it. Just when I thought I had everything figured out, life threw me another curveball.
As I watched her, a smile crept onto my face. Isn’t this what we want as parents? To nurture our children to the point where they can stand on their own two feet, requiring us a little less each day? Soon enough, they’ll be navigating life independently, and we want them prepared for it. We have to let them take these small risks, whether it’s conquering that two-wheeler or attending a concert with friends. In that moment, I felt proud of my daughter for feeling confident and ready to take that next step away from me.
When One Direction finally appeared on stage, I stood beside my daughter and her friends, singing along to the songs I knew, cherishing the fact that this might be one of the last concerts I’d attend with her for a while. “And we danced all night to the best song ever!”
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with moments where we must learn to let go. Our children grow, and it’s essential to embrace their independence while cherishing the time we have with them.