- Insist on Cheerios for breakfast, and only Cheerios. Enjoy them dry on Mondays, Thursdays, and every other Friday, thank you very much.
- If the Cheerios situation is compromised, launch into a dramatic meltdown.
- Never, ever try anything new. Just don’t.
- Yesterday’s favorites? Who cares! Today’s menu is a mystery. No explanations needed for sudden dislikes.
- Be wary of anything that once wiggled. Stick to the orange, lifeless options.
- Request a fancy assortment at the grocery store only to A. Claim ignorance of its existence at home or B. Wait for it to be cooked and then suddenly declare it unappetizing.
- Master the art of brand loyalty to justify rejecting anything that isn’t the “good” stuff.
- If the cooking takes longer than 30 seconds, it’s officially unacceptable.
- Demand constant updates on meal status every 10 seconds, and if it’s late, throw a tantrum on the floor.
- If the meal arrives half-frozen, no big deal; you weren’t going to eat it anyway!
- Wednesday afternoons are strictly for not eating—just because.
- Always have a spoon, knife, and two forks at the ready, but only eat with your hands.
- Use that one special plate. If it’s dirty, prepare for chaos.
- Make it your mission to push as much food off the table as possible. After all, they say the kitchen floor needs cleaning!
- Sweet potato chips? How dare they!
- Steer clear of anything saucy; it might have blended vegetables lurking inside!
- Water? Not a chance! You’ll drink when thirsty, but for now, it’s a medical mystery waiting to happen.
- Always claim you’re starving while in the bathtub.
- Train your body clock to demand bananas at midnight.
- Casseroles, stews, and pies? Absolutely untrustworthy.
- Sweet potato chips are still an affront, by the way.
- If someone dares to call broccoli “little trees,” give them a gentle kick in the shins—rude!
- Avocado? No way, José!
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Summary
Navigating mealtime with a toddler is a unique experience filled with whimsical rules and unexpected preferences. From insisting on Cheerios to rejecting anything that resembles vegetables, toddlers have their own playful approach to food. Understanding these quirky guidelines can help parents survive the daily mealtime battles with a smile.